I am and have always been a hopeful romantic. Love was always something that inspired and intrigued me. It was always amazing to me that you could give your heart to someone and they would return the favor. Sadly this image got broken down over the years. In my twenties my impulsive nature and desire to have a wildfire love got me into a lot of trouble.
I chased after every "bad boy" I could. I wanted to be the change they desired, the wild fire that kept them in check. I wanted to rule over the city and be a power couple. So I got exactly what I asked for, and I was not prepared. The bad boys I was chasing after were exactly that, bad. They weren't alphas, leaders or had any real ambition. These guys ended up being abusive, controlling and got me into soooooooo much trouble.
While the perks of dating the bad boys were fun; club owners knowing our names, VIP tables, and free food/drinks. I also dealt with the many repercussions. I was addicted to the entertainment, attention and false sense of power.
One of the main things that effected me throughout these years was the mental abuse I received. While it may be easy for some to say, "it's in the past, don't bring it to your future," I will always have certain scars that won't go away. When dealing with someone that not only has had experiences with physical abuse but mental as well, we often find ourselves contradicting each and every thought.
When you're a victim of abuse you find yourself feeling broken, because that's exactly how you're attacker wants you to feel. You're told what to wear, how to act, what to say, and sometimes what to think. So when you finally break free from that cycle you continue to second guess yourself. You are constantly reminded of how you aren't good enough and most of the time are reminded of how lucky you are to be in a relationship with that person.
You experience things such as; anxiety, depression, displacement of feelings, gas lighting, body shaming and more. It's a constant cycle of building them up the more they tear you down. They make you feel as if everything they do wrong is your fault somehow. And sadly you apologize for everything bc of this.
Now, in this thirty something chapter of my life I am taking the time to undo the years of scars I have allowed to be placed on me. I have learned one important thing, we aren't made to feel broken. We aren't here to be unloved, damaged or put down to make others feel better. So what does it mean when someone says they feel broken? How to we repair ourselves when we think we're damaged? How do we allow ourselves to trust again?
When someone says they feel broken, it usually means that they've been put down so much that they forget the pieces that make them special. Sadly for most people coming out of abusive relationships it goes way beyond mending pieces back together. This person finds it hard to believe anything positive about themselves, they find it impossible for someone to love them. They don't understand why anyone would want to be with someone as crazy as they feel. It's a constant battle between wanting to be loved and scared for someone to try. And worse, they constantly fight their happiness. They feel as if anything happy is fake or short lived. They wait for that wrong turn around that wrong corner. Always waiting for the bottom to fall.
So how do we break the cycle? How is it that we wake up each day learning to try again? We have to start with ourselves. We have to learn that even though we feel damaged and broken that there is still something to love about ourselves. No matter how bitter or insecure we get, there is always hope.
Loving yourself when you feel broken (or damaged) can seem like a daunting task. It can feel as if you're staring at yourself in along dark cave. Wanting to reach out but also not knowing how to accept the hand. It can feel as if you are all alone but nothing special. And sometimes it takes good friends to pull you out and help get you back on track.
It's a long road but know that you can do it. You aren't meant to live life feeling as if you're just waiting for something to happen or old age to creep upon you. You are meant to feel unloved because you are love. We are all beautiful and this world has just eaten up what makes us perfectly imperfect. We don't need to look better, work certain roles, live certain ways, just to feel accepted, just to feel love. You can overcome this. Even as I struggle with this everyday, I know in my heart that as long as I can learn to love myself, I can also love others.
To all the people who would love a person who feels broken, it can be tough at times. We constantly need reassurance, our insecurities are like daggers and the most important part is the understanding. We will second guess ourselves all the time, we are forever wondering why you chose to be with us (friend or significant other), we will find ways to push you away as to protect ourselves. It isn't because we don't want you, it isn't because we want you to be upset with us and leave, we feel as if it's the only understanding we know. What we see at the end of our struggle is the fact that you're still standing there waiting for us. So for all of you that put up with our growth and development we are more grateful than you'll realize.
To to all those that feel damage, broken or unwanted. You are loved. It may not be in a way that you quite understand yet but it's there. Keep at it, keep trying. It will be hard and sometimes you'll feel as if you want to give up, but just keep going.
Much love over and hugs guys!
How was your June? Miss me? With all the blogs, articles and social media posts I'm happy to be back in your sights again. While I truly wanted to write more the past month the inspiration was lacking. Not that I didn't have anything to share, just knew it wasn't the right time. Most of the things I was going through would have made me incredibly depressing to read.
The start art of the summer was less than one would have been excited for. It was a big month of growth and learning. I was struggling hard with my anxiety and fighting a spiral that was trying to drag me to the bottom of my sheets. I was mean, sort, sensitive and uncontrollable anger for the world around me. It was a place I dislike going because it is the side of me I find hardest to love.
I was trying to hold onto a rope that was loose at both ends. I knew I was pushing people away as well as sabotaging my own happiness. I was scared that if I enjoyed the happiness it would suddenly go away. Pretty ridiculous I know. I felt as if everything that was bringing me joy was slipping away. And the repeated excuse was because I was moving.
Moving! Omg how could I forget one of the biggest reasons for my stress...moving across country. As much as I would like to pretend I'm not freaking out, I'm suddenly aware of the ball of nerves curled up in my stomach. While I'll admit the excitement of this epic adventure is still there, the reality of getting out there is a daunting task on my plate. Leaving everything I know to experience everything I have yet to explore. It's a wild thought. Finding a place, getting stuff out there, saying goodbye for who knows how long. It's wild.
Something I witnessed while I was going through last months emotional roller coaster, was the epidemic of false positivity. Everywhere I looked it was as if no one wanted to relate to reality. No one was mentioning that they felt the same at times, that they had bad days. I was getting mixed reactions when I would talk to others. Some would tell me to grin and move on, some would say it's okay to fall apart at times and then there were some that told me that I had to *fake it till I felt it. *Side note: this can be true in most situations, but understand you have to heal the pain first.
There were very few bloggers showing the darker side of their souls, social media is full of fake reality and false positivity. False positivity is when you only talk about how wonderful things are going but are lying about your reality. It's not being honest with yourself or others. False positivity is when we fall apart but tell others how easy it is to fix "our" lives. Because we want the world to believe that we have the happiest, most movie-esque life. I get it, it's hard to take a step back and realize you're needing a moment. We have perceived trying to be weakness and perfection to be the norm. It's very disorienting.
I had to take a step back and analyze what I was doing. Was I taking art of the fakeness? Was I sharing false positivity to friends, family and followers? The sad truth, yes I was. I was pretending like everything was okay, I was lying and putting up a good front. Cause why would anyone want to see me loosing my grip on life at the moment. I wasn't taking care of my reality. I wasn't being authentic.
It's okay to have bad days, or weeks. It's okay to fall apart and pick yourself up. Multiple times in your life. No one really has their shit together, as much as they like to portray it that way. We don't have to be strong all the time. Go easy on yourself and be patient. Remember that what we see online is only a glimpse into someone's actual life and what they are going through. Be honest with yourself and your loved ones.
You have come so far in life, making it day by day and trying each and every morning. It's okay to take time to build your life. It is always okay to start over several times. It is never to late to start your dreams or get back into the saddle. Don't let the world of social media make you feel as if you're less of a person.
Where to begin...
The past couple of months has been a roller coaster ride of emotions and introspection. Time is flying by me and I feel as if I had the rug pulled up from under my feet in one feel swoop. As if I am suddenly unprepared for my life and what I am trying to achieve. I started to feel those depressive triggers and just wanted to lock myself up in my apartment where I was safe. So what was it that got me to feel that way?
Why, with all the good, did I feel so bad?
In less than six months I will be in a whole new place, I am leaving everything I know behind me. For years I have been asking for an adventure, a new chapter in my life. Something to excite and scare me at the same time. I thought what I wanted was on a smaller scale. But it was much more than that, it was a burning desire to explore the wild side of me again. That side that I so loved in my twenties and slowly let slip by me. What in the actual *beep*? The past couple of months I have been struggling with the move, crushes/dating and my self image. All things that I could probably easily work out but for some reason it has left me frizzled.
I wanted to be impulsive and free spirited. To fuel the fire I let burn out.
In March my friend and I went out to Colorado to do some research and planning. I could barely control my excitement while I was there. Driving by the mountains I will soon call home, the landscapes and people, all of it. The feeling of freedom pulsing through my veins. We had so much fun while exploring our future home. Trying new foods, climbing rocks and finding things on our hikes. This was it, this was my next stop in life, the wildness of Colorado. An unknown territory and it was all mine for the taking. The entire week was filled with laughter, nerves, and uncontrollable urge to run wild. It was amazing and something that I haven't felt in a long time. This was the feeling I had been wanting to chase again.
Then it happened, I got home and realized that life is right there, happening in front of me.
The week following my return I was left with that sinking feeling of anxiety. I was scared and overwhelmed by what was unfolding before my eyes. Now let me say that moving is nothing new to me. Growing up and living in two different places has been something I am incredibly used to. But this, moving across country and leaving my friends and family behind. That is something I am still having to learn how to deal with and it is so hard. In the past few years I have become very dependent on my inner circle. always having them to fall back on, call on when needed and run to when things get rough. When my darkness takes over I know I can reach my hand out and someone will always be there to grab it and pull me back out. Now I will be in a place where "running by their house" will be more than a car ride over.
It wasn't just the move that was bringing the darkness of ego closer.
While things with the move were smoothing out April brought on a whole other set of challenges. The challenges of self worth, dating and being comfortable in my own skin. I am one of those girls who gets super nervous at the thought of "dating". Dating now a days is way more complicated than I ever remembered it being. I do not like dating sites/apps. To me that is like going shopping for your "ideal" image of a mate. You're not seeing the real person, you're seeing the best projected version. We all want to seem as if we always have great days, as if waking up with makeup on perfectly is an every day thing, and to always pose in the perfect position. Hey I am a master selfie taker now, I know what angels work for me and the ones that I only share to my friends on snap chat.
But that's not fulfilling, I want more than the perfect person.
I am an Empath, I feel and deal with energy differently than others. dating apps/sites have never worked for me because I always feel as if people are hiding things about themselves. Plus after being in a long term relationship I am for lack of a better term, rusty in the dating game. But I was open and ready to try again. I put myself out there, talking to new people, going to events and even making a few connections. I also got up the courage to talk to guys I found interesting and attractive. Things looked as if they were looking up, I wasn't missing my ex and I wasn't feeling rushed to jumped back into a relationship either. I was getting a chance to experience the waters and somewhat enjoying the situation.
Then I had to deal with self doubt that was rushing towards me.
During the course of this new dating phase I met a couple of people that I felt completely drawn to. I mean the magnetic pull was so intense that it would take my breath and voice away. Feelings I had not felt for years had rushed back to me, the feeling of having a crush. I was smiling at random times, giggling when they would message me, and the thought of seeing them was super exciting. Keep in mind that I still was scared shitless because of all the other things going on in my life and not ready for anything serious. I just wanted to be present in the moment and keep things simple. But with all the connection and talking there was something missing. The follow through, there was all this talk about meeting up, going out, or hanging out. But only to set up plans and then see that I was given the shaft. To be given the same excuses I have heard before.
Then I had to deal with the insecurities that were building up within me again.
I was dealing with the same bs self worth issues I have always had to deal with. The feeling of doubt, image and the way I am. I must admit that dating nowadays absolutely confuses me, I don't understand what a fu<* boy is, what ghosted means, or why the hell do these guys ask for your number but then never ask you out? Or you have the complete opposite. Random dudes messaging you on social media, guys you don't even know blowing up your phone wanting to take you out. I mean I even have one dude sending me shopping lists of items he wants to get me. Is this what dating is like today? What an absolute mess! I could go on and on but that's not really what I want to write about.
My insecurities were getting so heavy I gave up on fighting them.
By the end of April and even to the beginning of May I felt absolutely horrible. I would tell myself that I was to ugly to be liked, to weird, to nerdy, to fat, you name it and I probably told it to myself. I refused to believe that the guys that I was chasing after were the ones I knew would hurt me. those broken hearted bad boys that drove my insides wild by didn't care if they hurt my heart. Was I chasing after my ex to make me feel better about being dumped? Probably? I was getting passive reasoning as to why I wasn't being asked out for a second time or as to why "guys" never liked me. honestly I look back as I'm typing this and I just want to shake myself.
A video from a male's view on dating nowadays was sent to me and it changed everything.
In this video this guy was talking about how it is so hard to date today because of all the ways we idolize perfection and the next best thing. We scroll through dating apps only looking at pictures and brief descriptions of ourselves. It's so easy to place ourselves in a world of "comfort and safety" not to mention laziness when it comes to dating. We get bored with one person and move on to the next, just with a swipe or click. That when we get into a relationship and things get rough instead of trying to work it out, we go to our phones to see "what's greener on the other side". By minute five of this video this guy had me sobbing he touched so many cords. I started to realize that people are ignoring the things that actually make them amazing. Including myself. I wanted the world to know I was feeling amazing, I was looking better than ever. To some degree I am, I have lost weight, started working out. But I still felt lonely, I still felt rejected. I still had those feelings of not being wanted.
While the end of April was a struggle filled with tears and several mini pity parties. I knew when I got to the point of wanting to give up on everything I loved just to be loved, I knew I needed to reevaluate what I was dealing with. I wanted to give up writing, moving, gaming, everything. I just hated the things that made me different. I just kept telling myself that if I acted like other girls then the guys would want to date me. When in fact it was the exact opposite that I needed to do. This isn't something new, I have been dealing with self confidence issues since I was young. I was always the outsider, the wild one, the cute one.
So I decided to get back to that girl that I had buried beneath the scars and pain.
This past week I did some major soul searching. I started a journal again, got the courage to ramble in my blog again, and put an end to letting the rejection of others kill the projection of myself. I realized that we come to accept and love others through their imperfections. Imperfection is what makes us unique. I may not be able to walk sexily in heels, put on extensive makeup, or know exactly what to say at the right moment. But damn if I'm not gonna make it work for me. I'm klutzy, goofy, and know way more about Lord of the Rings than I do designers. But that's me and why would I want to change that. Why did I want to change that?
Why did I want to change who I was just to be liked by someone those who don't like who they are?
We all want to feel accepted, to feel important. I get it. We want to ignore the things that we hate about ourselves but if we opened our eyes they are the reasons others love us. What are your imperfections? What are the ways that you feel insecure? Take them and turn them in to the reasons you are different and beautiful. We have to start loving ourselves more than just a selfie, more than a blog post, more than what a crush says to us. We have to start seeing the things that make us truly amazing. I need to stop messing with my imperfections and love them for what they are...my own personal perfections.
In the past couple of weeks have you felt sluggish, irritable, moody, or extremely insecure? Have past and present issues surrounding love been popping up? On March 4th Venus, ruler of love and emotions, went into retrograde. If you follow my blog you'll know that I often blog about being effected when Mercury goes retrograde. Venus rules all manner and matters of love. Self worth, esteem, creative talents, art beauty of self and our surroundings. She also rules over finance and abundance.
Now just like all retrogrades now is a time to make room in our lives and hearts for more love and abundance.
Set the standards higher and don't settle for anything less. At this time we may feel ourselves being extra critical but through this we can gain deep insight as to what we really want. At this time we may find ourselves looking into the past. Judging, regretting or feeling upset over what has been. Remember this doesn't serve anyone any good. But what you can do is look at the past gain wisdom from the situations, and move forward to a new beginning.
Don't fret if the love bug is on your mind. Venus will stir up some lusty or even lovey dovey vibes. Venus has a very impulsive and passionate nature. You may feel fate drawing you to someone and changing your immediate course at present time. Keep in mind what you truly want from her and try to see the difference between lust and love(like). These new love interest will hold a very unique and significant impact on our lives.
Here's the kicker. If you are feeling the effects of insecurity during this retrograde then now is not the time to make rash relationship decisions.
It is time to take yourself into consideration. Nurture yourself and give yourself some much needed love. Treat yourself as the goddess you truly are. You need not look outside yourself to feel wanted, accepted or desired.
I've been feeling with a lot of emotions lately. Mainly surrounding my self worth in relationships and even in my business goals. Wondering if I should bite the preverbal bullet and give up on all accounts. I kept telling myself that I was taking a much needed break,. I kept procrastinating on almost everything that has brought me joy. When your self worth is compromised you start to make excuses. You slowly deteriorate and become uninspired. It was at the start of this retrograde that I finally threw my hands up and yelled, "enough"!
I decided I needed to make a choice, I could give up or I could get up and keep trying.
Well I absolutely despise the thought of giving up. Almost to a fault. So I got my shit together, made some lists, burned some intentions and got back into the saddle. I know that I need to walk my walk and talk my talk. Even if you start off slowly, take breaks, have mini meltdowns, just keep going. Your journey is so important to your well being.
Things to look out for during Venus Retrograde:
Reality vs. Expectations
I recently have had an experience where I was unable to coach someone. And if any of you know life coaches/healers, this is one of the most frustrating situations to come across. The hardest part of all there was nothing that I could have done. I wasn't able to coach this person because of my lack of experience or education. I was unable to coach this person because of their lack of wanting to help themselves. But through this situation I found my self learning a couple of big lessons., I can't help everyone nor does everyone want to be helped.
You see this particular person has set up a wide variety of expectations for themselves. Expectations that are not necessarily unattainable but expectations that they thought that they were just going to have handed to them. The issue with this is when we set up expectations but are unprepared for the reality we find ourselves loosing all sense of control. Not that we have control over anything really, just our actions. Expectations really aren't a bad thing to have as long as you keep them within reason and don't get to worked up when they don't go according to plan.
Are we being the victim in our lives?
One thing that is absolutely certain we will always have to go through struggles, obstacles and tons of tough choices. That is what makes us able to call our selves humans. We have the capability to learn through our actions. Every day you will face bumps in the road. From things as small as technology issues to life changing events. The most important thing to remember when we go through these moments is how we react as it is happening.
Being the Aquarian that I am, I tend to have moments of dramatic drama followed by swift action and follow through. I give myself a couple of hours max to play the victim. Then, usually with a friends help, I figure a way out the problem. Thus turning the problem into a solution. This has helped me survive even some of my toughest life changing moments.
Everyone reacts to problems differently. Some people are not effected by trouble or bad days. My father for example is one of those people who can face an issue head on without a second thought. He is the one that has shown me to see the opportunities and solutions within problems, even if I'm super stubborn at times. There are some situations that we have absolutely no control over. These situations come through our lives like a hurricane. We have no way to prepare for them and they can cause us to fall apart. I myself have had several of these happen during my life.
There are those that enjoy playing the role of victim. They enjoy the feeling of being saved, getting the attention, and always having an issue to be fixed. you'll often hear them say things such as; "Why do things always happen to me?", "I have the worst luck.", "Things never go my way.". These type of people take a lot longer to go through obstacles because they always feel as if the world is out to get them, We all have played this part at some point in our lives. But for some they play that role their entire life. Remember growth and healing come from going through major moments, life change events and struggling situations. Push through, learn from it and move forward.
I had to take a step back and allow that I can't help everyone. Letting this person release what needed to be released and let it stop at that. I learned that not everyone wants to help themselves. But what I was taught was to look at what this person reflected to me. Everyone is a mirror for each other. We reflect back that which we need to see in ourselves. What was it about this person made me feel incompetent, frustrated and upset?
Yesterday I had a major transformational Saturday. I started my day off with an activated charcoal-lavender lemonade and a Yin Yoga class. My first yin class ever! The practice is slower and focuses on releasing tension in not only the muscles but also the connective tissues. It also opens up your heart chakra and man was I feeling it. My friend and I left class and met our friend in the shop next door. We spent the next couple of hours chatting about letting go, the past, spiritual guidance, readings and more. By the time i got home I was exhausted and spiritually full. I was so blissed out that I passed out around 9pm. I woke up around 6am sobbing with all sorts of emotions, feeling such a wonderful release. I felt as if I had healed so many parts of my heart in one small moment. It was beautiful.
Remember we all have the ability to over come our obstacles. We have all come far in everything we've encountered in our past. Don't dwell on the past it will only haunt you. Instead use your past to strengthen your future. You've got this!
I have been holding out for so long. Clenching my tongue against my teeth in order to keep the status quo flowing. I am one of those easy going chicks that likes to speak her mind but also likes to keep the peace. That was until this past year. I have finally become fed up with keeping quiet. With everything going on in our world now is not the time to be silent. People are losing rights, dying, fighting, vandalizing. There are riots in our streets and our energy is being reverberated across the globe. This weekend almost 3million women marched to stand up for our rights as women. I feel awed and inspired by these women. As I have been my whole life. I always enjoyed reading about women who fought to be heard. Now it's our time!
All joking and expectations aside, the reality is that we now have a celebrity as a president. I have had my issues with this long before our election but if I must I must. The truth is no matter how I feel, and I feel pretty strongly, he is now sitting in that chair for the next four years.. So as an American I look at it as accepting you to show me what you can do. But as a woman, a fighter, a lover, a peaceful warrior, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a person with a voice...get ready to hear me roar.
Ladies now is the time to stand up, now is the time to show the country what we are made of. Start standing up for yourself. Start showing the people who put you down that you are ready to fight. Look back throughout history, look back at all the women who have fought for us. Everything came at a price. We wouldn't have gained so much without great loss. This is our chance to award ourselves another monuments moment in history. Look at all we have accomplished just in the last five years. Keep going! Imagine what we can accomplish in the next five!
Now is the time to start letting your roar out. You want something go for it. You deserve that promotion, you deserve the career change, the business ownership, the motherhood, the wife, friend, activist and any other title you want to test to you name. The road a head is going to be hard with many, many obstacles and challenges along the way. But nothing dreamt ever came easy, so get ready to fight. Put on your armor, you're strong enough, and step out the door. There are many who are waiting for your voice. Help others and share in the hope that together we can achieve anything. Stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves. And most importantly, don't ever let anyone tell you that you are anything less than amazing.
Love and Hugs!
Happy Monday everyone!
I write this post through water filled eyes. I am not crying because I am sad, in fact I am crying for just the opposite. With everything that has happened the past few days the entire world is up in arms. It seems as if everywhere I turn hatred is being spread so thickly it seems as if it will never clean up. Tonight I as was scrolling through my Fb feed I came across a beautiful video about a man and his wife. He was telling the nurse how much he loved his wife and that they had been together for 70 years. He went on to talk about how he didn't want to waste time with his heart condition, his wife was in stage one of Alzheimers and he wanted to spend every moment he could with her. He said that he was incredibly grateful to have this woman in his life and he needed to be there for her while she slowly gave way to the disease. Can we say oceans pouring from my eyes? Goodness gracious.
This was immediately followed by yet another amazing video. Oh my heart! The next one I watched was a 6min clip filled with all the ways humanity has shown love. Kids being kind to those less fortunate, adults helping one another, sacrifices and paying it forward. By the end of these two videos I just let my tears fall down my cheeks. It showed me that there are amazingly kind acts people do every second of the day. When we focus on all the bad things people do it is as if we put blinders on our hearts. Good is out there, love is out there. We must all do our part to help spread more love.
I know it's hard. I completely understand how easy it can be pointing out every little thing that went wrong in one day. I completely empathize with wanting to place blame and point the finger. I live and work in one of the most judgmental and entitled city atmospheres. Well for a few more months any way. But we mustn't let the misery of others drag us down. I know it can be hard in the moment, but try at some point to see things from the other person's view. Maybe it's the way they were brought up, maybe they hate their lives and just don't care anymore, and maybe they sadly are just shallow people. I promise you they aren't everyone.
For the next few days I am going to take into account every time someone pays it forward, compliments me, or I witness an act of love. I want to start focusing on the good in people again. I want to show others that love is a powerful force. If we all just show a little bit of love towards others whole new doors open up.
Love and hugs everyone!
P.s. Hate is easy, veto takes courage. Are you brave enough?
Being stuck and starting over multiple times
Have you ever felt as if you are always starting over? Do you ponder the thought that you just have bad luck? I get it. I have often thought that my self. One of my favorite sections to browse through has always been the "self-help" area. I have always been inspired by others that have gone through similar situations. When I was in my twenties I felt as if I loved in that section of the book store. I felt as if the world was out to get me every time I placed my foot out the door. It was as if I couldn't get a grasp on my life. If it wasn't my relationships it was my job, if it wasn't school it was friends, so on and so forth. So what changed? When did I get to a point where getting myself out of the woods wasn't as hard as I thought?
When things go haywire we feel as if we are lost in the deepest, darkest parts of the forest. I can remember the a ha moment when I gave my self permission to start over multiple times. I was turning 30 and leaving my young adult hood behind. I remember thinking of how different I was going to be and how much growth I was going to have. Even if it was overnight. Let me tell you, I was sooooooo wrong. So far the past three years of my 30's has been a rollercoaster ride of holy shit. The only difference is my reactions and attitudes have gotten more chill.
I realized the past few years that I was always going to have times where I am going to be "stuck", in my life. I decided that it was all part of building new chapters in my life. Being stuck just means we have come to a turning point in our lives. I can look back the past 12 years and see every single time I was "stuck" something amazing came afterwards. The more times you are stuck the more times you are growing. It is a time of planning, releasing, and growth. It is a time to move forward and show yourself how strong you are. It is the chance to be your own hero. Progress does not come easy. To get to where you are going you will always have obstacles in your way. You will always have a period of time where you feel completely hopeless. It is hard to keep your faith when your heart is broken, you have no money or you don't want to be where you are. But it is at these very moments we can find the most clarity.
You are a warrior!
When we are at our low points we often have the chance to work through the bs of our behaviors and actions. Being able to hold our selfs accountable takes great strength. It takes a lot of courage to push through and begin anew. Look back on all the times you thought you wouldn't make it and see how far you have come. Being a warrior doesn't mean you don't cry or you don't have a heart. In fact it is just the opposite. Some of the strongest people in history have fought battles with tears in their eyes. I look at struggles as opportunities to prove to myself that I can make it through the storm. I may fall a part, I may cuss and scream, but I won't back down from a chance to show my worth. I know that my Goddess shows me challenges so that I can gain another step on my path.
When you feel stuck spend some time assessing the situation. Work through the painful emotions and honor how you feel. Don't feel guilty for eating that ice cream and watching yet another chick flick on netflix. It is a process. Remember it is not a bad life just a bad day, (month, week, etc). The important thing is that we must always be grateful for the things that we do have. Air, shelter, food, friends, family,, our bodies, our hearts, etc. Don't worry if someone tells you to get over something. Don't listen to someone if they are passing judgement on what job you have. If it is paying your bills and affording you to reach for you goals...get it! You have to do what you need to, so that you can survive and grow.
Overtime you will start to understand that starting over is one of the greatest things in the world. It is that second chance at a new perspective. It is a second chance at a new chapter in your life. look at it as a time to let go of something that no longer works for you and a chance to find the thing that does. You can make your life amazing with only a little bit of courage, kindness, and willingness to let go. Don't force yourself to move on, instead work through your struggle to come out the other side. Fight your way through the woods.
Ways to get through a "stuck" phase
Are you living or just getting by? Are you creating adventure in your life? What big adventures are you planning for 2017? Let me know in the comments below. 😊💖😊
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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Loves Hot Pink
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