Forgiveness is one of the most important steps in self development. It is also one of the hardest things to learn to do. We as humans are taught judgement, blame and projection. Not necessarily by intention, but mainly by the world around us. We are not just judging others but oureselves as well. Most of us are so critical of our own being and way we are that we ignore the positive things. Have you ever felt gulity for being you? Really think about that. Have you ever tried to apologize to someone for being emotional, goofy, weird, extroverted, etc.? Spend half the night tossing and turning in your sleep thinking of everything you should say just in case you have to justify yourself? It's all relevant.
I used to and still sometimes feel so guilty for being the way that I am. Spending or practically wasting time trying to change who I am. Negatively trying to change who I was or try and create a persona. Thinking that's how I get people to love me. Very backwards thinking.
The first step of learning how to forgive starts with the very simple thing of loving yourself. When one loves them selves they begin the practice of acceptance, which goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Often we humans search for love and acceptance from outside, when it actually starts with the inside.
So how to practice forgiveness. As it begins with you start by saying something to yourself like, "I forgive myself for the mistakes I created yesterday. I move forward in my present with love, I look forward to tomorrow and I'm grateful for everyday and all the lessons I've learned." Another way that I have used many times, write three letters to yourself. Handwritten, doesn't have to be long. One to your younger self, one to your present self and one to your future self. These letters should include things such as; love, blessings, advice and of course forgiveness. Mail them out to yourself at different times. By doing this you're not only going to get a pice of actual mail, but by writing to yourself you are able to step outside yourself and realize how far you've come.
What are some of the ways you practice forgiveness?
I've been having a rough couple of days this past week, between starting my new job, keeping up with school, doing the things I love and you know the usual.....life. My mind and ego started to kick in and kept whispering, "Life isn't a fairy tale, life isn't fair, life is out to get you. The ego is a horrible thing, it can make you feel as if there is no hope when that's all there is, is hope. Last night something happend that pushed my anxiety to maximum levels and it was at this point I needed to snap back into my reality. Life isn't a fairy tale, it is my fairy tale, my adventure and my journey. I look at problems as dragons or bad guys, my friends as my warriors, my partner my prince and me as the main protagonist. Maybe it is the romantic in me and maybe it is the creative in me, but what ever the case I realized this morning, I've got this.
If you think about it, in movies the hero doesn't wake up, save the day and the movie ends, the hero faces trials, challenges and tests that prove to themselves that they are strong, capable and have all the tools they need to fight. Try and look at problems or situations in our lives in a different manner and step back and realize that we are the ones writting the story. Next time you have a problem arise, look at it in a different way and see if you can't overcome the fear of, I can't do this. Today I will face the day and its lessons as an adventure. Own this day and face tomorrow with promise. Have a beautiful day and know that together we can do anything.
One crazy jump starting week
Sunday I began a new job at one of the most amazing places ever! It's a revolutionary Yoga and lifestyle studio, right up my alley. A place that works on the entire being, Mind, Body and Soul. Not only is the place amazeballs but the people that our part of this team are so amazing. For the first time ever I am able to voice how I feel and not be scorned for it. The universe has led me here for a reason and I am excited to see that reason. The past few days I have been through so much that I can't believe that I just started this Sunday. The owner of the company is very inspiring and super cool to boot, he was telling us in our meeting the other day about doing 1% more than you already do, which will bring you closer to your highest potential. Basically stepping outside your comfort zone and pushing through to the limit of what you thought you could do. Which is what I wanted to talk about today... Stepping outside the comfort zone.
Stepping outside my comfort zone has never been one of my stronger attributes, not that I haven't done it before but most of the time I have choosen not to. When I was younger pushing limits and beliefes was something that came naturally to me, but as I got closer to my thirties I realized I actually liked being somewhat comfortable. I mean who doesn't like feeling safe and sound in their own little world? As much as I love being comfortable I also realize that it is smart to, "Do one thing a day that scares you" - Eleanor Roosevelt. Even just saying that I can feel the anxiety building. So what do these things all have in common? This week has been pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone and while some of it has been nerve racking there have been a few things so far that have opened my eyes to a new hobby or way of living. Yesterday for example the owner of our company arranged a team building exercise, literally, at 7:30 in the morning. We were to meet at Flywheel, take their 7:30am cycle class and then go to breakfast. How is this stepping outside my comfort zone? Well anyone that knows me, knows that I am a nocturnal being of sorts, and working out to me is walking, hiking, yoga and some home based cardio. so the thought of waking up at 6:30am to go workout in front of others freaked me the *beep* out. I was so nervous walking into that gym that I seriously thought about turning around and walking out, but I didn't. I kept to myself until I noticed something incredible, everyone began joking about waking up that early and also that we all were not ready to workout. I remember feeling soooo relieved that I wasn't alone. As the door opened to the room we all watched the people from the previous class walk out dripping with sweat and you could totally tell that all our faces were blank with, "omg! we are going to die."
Walking into the space the two of us girls got in the back with our little biker shoes and thankfully got help from someone to help us with our bikes. The class was almost an hour long and I couldn't believe how much fun it was. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty intense, I have never worked out that hard in the morning in a very long time. But after our breakfast and morning meeting I remember thinking about how amazing I felt. I was so happy that I went and challenged myself to go that extra mile and try that class out. Trying is all we can do to get started in the newest journey of our lives.
So here are some things to think about for the day:
Let me know how you did. We are all in this together.
No matter where I go there I am. This #tbt was about 4 years ago when my best friend and I went on a spiritual vacation to Fort Luaderdale. It was a dark time for me and I needed to remember who I was and what power I had inside. This picture was on one of the most important days. My friend is an instructor in many things including Tai Chi. Every morning we went out at sunrise to do our practice in the ocean. It was amazing. Complete release and full positive energy. This picture was snapped by my friend right as the sun came up over the water. She called it the sunrise of my transformation. She was right. Ever since then I've started my transformational journey and I haven't looked back. Here's to the sunrises of our destiny and journey.
Being Yourself & Speaking Your Truth
I have spent most of my life trying to be something I'm not. I listened to the Nay sayers and who they said I was supposed to be. I will admit, while some of the negativity was coming from verbally abusive ex's and non friends, the majority of negativity was coming from...me. Most of my twenties I battled with my self and what I believed. Telling myself that I wasn't allowed to do the things I liked because of my age, place in life, or becuase of what I "had" to be. I was saying the usual, "If I was skinnier my life would be this way. If I was prettier I would be able to get what I want out of this situation." It wasn't until I got closer to thirty that I began my leap of faith into me. I started doing more and more of the things that I loved. There are still battles with guilt, insecurities, bad days with chocolate and Disney. Hey I'm human, and with a little help from my friends I'm able to get back on track.
On my thirtieth birthday I made a promise to myself to practice speaking my truth and being myself in the up coming year, (my birthday is in January, makes yearly planning very easy). Not apoligizing for who I am, what I believed in and how I felt about things. What is speaking your truth? Speaking your truth is about being honest with yourself. Releasing that which does not serve you and attracting that which makes you grow. It takes hard work and dedication to your self and your own personal well being. Yes, there are tons of tough days, but these are the days that will give you the most education. When you hit a bump in the road it is a catalyst and reminder of going back, checking in with your self, doing the exercises that center and ground you.
Ways to Practice Being Yourself & Speaking Your Truth
Stop Apoligizing For who you are, what you believe in and how you feel. It is your mind, your heart and your spirit. What makes you happy might not make someone else happy. If another person has lack and insecurities in life, then they will be inclined to be jealous of you. This will cause comments, jeers and negative reactions to things that make YOU smile. Understand that this has nothing to do with you.
Learn to say No When you feel uncomfortable in a situation. Saying no is one of those words that is so small but so very powerful. As a natural born people pleaser I have had the toughest time overcoming my fear of saying no. It's tough becuase you feel as if by saying no to someone, (especially someong close) you are letting them down or upsetting them. While sometimes yes they will be upset, but think of it this way, being upset to make others happy in the end will only upset everyone.
Being Honest With yourself and others. What do you really want? Want out of life, spirituality, career, relationships. When you start to dig beneath the surface and debris of your outer layers, what do you find? being honest with your self is one of the first steps to a healthier, happier lifestyle. Most of the time we are clogged with thoughts, ideas, branding, views, etc. of others. What your parents want from you, friends, boss and so on and so forth.
"You" Time Spending more time with yourself doing the positive things that you love, helps the body, mind and soul. Allowing yourself to read the next chapter in that book, watch a movie, do yoga, spend a few minutes meditating, calming your mind. Spending time investing in you gives you the tools to find the things that make you, you.
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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Loves Hot Pink
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