Happy (almost) Holidays!
Hope everyone is finishing out their November with full tummies and excitement to closing out 2016 with sparkling lights and warm spaces. I had such an amazing few days I wanted to send out a mini blog before the holidays officially begin.
It is hard to believe how fast and dramatic this past year has been. I know I'm not the only one who said "WTF" out loud a few times. This year has definitely shown me what I am made of, in one form or another. It also has shown me the direction in which I need to be heading and finally getting a chance to live out my adventures. 2016 doesn't have to end as dramatic as it occurred. We can close this year out with the love we need to bring in the new year with.
I love celebrating this time of year. As I sit here typing I'm jamming to winter tunes, drinking hot chocolate and have candles burning. Christmas to me is a feeling, a time to celebrate friends and loved ones. To help make others smile and spread joy to others. I love seeing the holiday decorations all over the place. This past week I started decorating my apartment, created a holiday playlist and drinking tons of hot chocolate. With everything that has been going on the past couple of months (and for most of us the entire year), I feel as if this christmas time and its nature is very much needed. We need a little more sparkle, twinkle, baking, hugging, laughter, chocolate and pretty sights.
As I stated earlier, this December I plan to close my 2016 out with as much love and optimism one can. This Christmas, being single again I have made one of my goals to show my self as much love as I would want someone else to show me. I am listening to my self and trusting my intuition again. In the past three months I have felt an amazing surge of energy light up within me. I want to keep that going. I want to spend tons of time with friends and family and extend love to those that need it. I am already planning my christmas adventures and can't wait to see everyone's pictures on Instagram of their decorations.
Two days till December and counting!
p.s. I'm looking for some creative ideas for christmas adventures, goodies, and blog topics. Got an idea and want to be featured? Shot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you.
I get it, we live in a high tech world. We have instant gratification at our fingertips and instant access to each others worlds. Letting people see our daily tasks can be either a positive or negative experience. We can share in adventures and joys of our lives. But sadly there is a dark side to these things that have become part of our daily rituals. The dark side of being able to see into each others worlds is the constant judgement we place ourselves in. When you post a selfie how does it make you feel to get a life? How does it feel if no one liked it? This is the part that trickles over to our daily lives.
We fear rejection, get rewarded for poor behavior, fear judgement of how we look and act, and the worst part is is causes us to judge ourselves. When I was in my twenties I would spend hours putting on fake photo shoots. I would dress in different outfits, change makeup, and even have sets put up. At the time I was extremely insecure and desperate for reassurance. I became obsessed with the attention. This was when social media was still pretty but I would post these pictures up and constant check my stats. I wanted to to see how many viewed them, liked them and commented. I walked around with fear, guilt and envy. I would jealously look at other women and compare myself to them. It wasn't a good time in my life. But over time I learned where I needed to grow and heal.
We thirst for knowledge but often we get miss lead. We long for attention but seek it from the wrong source. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and said, "Damn girl you fine!" ? And I'm talking about no makeup, just woke up, hair a mess, looking in the mirror. When was the last time you felt confident enough to say no, to tell the truth, to let go? When was the last time you did something with out fear of what others would think? If it's been a while then you know it's time to practice.
We become concerned with what others think because we lack the love within ourselves. We lost track of what is truly important to our hearts. If you think you are enough for someone it's because you believe you aren't enough for someone. This is the is why I said there can be a dark side to that instant gratification lifestyle. Don't get me wrong if you follow me on instagram you know I post selfies all the time. Infant I encourage you to take as many selfies as you can. But do it in the light of shining from within. Show your happiness, show your inner light. Post without expectations of what others think. Dare to take a no pose, no filter, no make selfie and see how you feel.
Grab your journal, notebook or piece of paper. Answer these next few questions truthfully. (even if it makes you cringe)
Looks as if we all could use a detox, not the kind you drink but the kind that detoxes your spirit. We have gone through so much the past few weeks. Pain, hurt, disappointment and fear. In a time, much like the 60's, we are finding ourselves in revolutions, change and a massive shift in consciousness. As the final stretch of 2016 is upon us there are a great many of us rejoicing. 2016 brought with it a lot of heartache. We lost so many amazing people, both in personal lives as well as important figures.
2016 was the year that was detrimental to our spiritual growth. This year was one to teach us about releasing that what does not serve us, where our strengths lie, and moving on. While there we several other things 2016 took/did to us we must focus on the truth that it revealed. Most of us shared memes joking about this year and how awful it was. But even I have to admit, it can't rain all the time. (bonus points if you know where that line came from)
Today while driving home from work it suddenly dawned on me how fast this year has gone by and all that has happened in such a short amount of time. It felt as if it was yesterday when I felt as if I couldn't lose much more. I felt as if I was never going to get out. My ego, insecurities, and fears were destroying me. I was running on fumes and crossed fingers. I would look in the mirror and despise who I was becoming. I fell off track with all that I had gained from my training. I was stressed, tired, upset, and feeling very low.
The events of this year may have made me feel as if the world was ending, but they certainly have shaped a better part of my being. 2016 has shown me what I'm made of, it has taken away from me, but it has also given me that much more. I left a toxic job- proved myself worthy of the next position, then I got a new job which helped build my self esteem. The business closed down leaving me to find another job, at the same time I was dumped, had to find a new apartment, and got into a car accident. I was pushed to fight, pushed to prove my worth to myself, I was pushed to handle my situation with as much grace as I could.
Through the experiences I had this year made me a better person. If you read my blog from a few weeks ago I have become extremely liberated through this process. I did what was necessary, I found a new place and a new apartment in less than two weeks. Literally proving to myself that once I put my mind on something I can certainly achieve it. I gained confidence, wisdom and are my relationships. I became more grateful and optimistic. I know that tomorrow is always a new day.
We overcome our obstacles by pushing through and learning from the experience. Obstacles come up so that we can heal past wounds and grow as a person. Obstacles are meant to be tough. Life can be messy, if it wasn't we wouldn't appreciate the good things. There will always be something popping up for you to over come. New jobs, moving, relationships beginning/ending, and even health.
We create goals and plan the outcome but we often forget to plan for the bumps along the way. We forget that you can't go from a to z and expect a straight line. So when these obstacles come up it causes what a friend of mine likes to call, "dramatic drama". We cry, freak out, want to break things, and victimize ourselves. Ego loves playing the victim. It's the voice saying poor me, why do these things always happen, I never get anything good. It's hard to be positive in these moments and that's okay.
We all have a shadow side to us, that dark part in our hearts that make us dive into the negativity pool when things go to shit. The trick is to acknowledge and accept this side of you without drowning. I always tell my clients, it's completely ok to join the pity party barge, but let that crap sail after a while. Give yourself a time limit and allow yourself to feel. Release all the thoughts, tears, bad words, and negativity. Now also keep in mind the bigger the issue the more time you may need to heal. But that doesn't mean you can play the victim card longer. It just means that you have to be patient with yourself. It means to take it day by day. For example; breakups. When you break up with someone you go through a period of sadness, anger and regret. You only want to remember the good times and ignore all the signs that would shown up as a red flag had you paid attention.
You see the trick with the universe/higher power is what ever you are thinking with feeling will be attracted to you. So if you are one of those who say, "Why me, this always happens to me, I have no luck," then guess what you're going to keep getting. Once you realize that you will start to learn from the situations and begin new experiences. Stop blaming others before you look at yourself, stop playing the victim role in your own life. Watch an action movie and be reminded that you are the super hero of your own life. No one else has that role, just you. It's time we all acted like it!
For quite sometime now I have been asking the universe for an adventure. Begging for some sort of change in my life. I was bored, un-motivated and very un-inspired. It was mind numbing, and yes self victimizing. I would watch my favorite movies and yearned for the passion, adventure and gumption the characters had in their lives.
A few years back I took my first trip out to Boulder and absolutely fell in love with Colorado. There was something about the atmosphere and epic landscape that just captivated me. After a few days roaming around and experiencing different landmarks. I went home hoping to return. I knew even back then that I wanted to live there, even if I wasn't consciously aware of the idea. It wasn't until I returned this past June that I knew I really wanted to move out there. It just felt right.
One month after my friends wedding I got a chance to go back for a week long vacation. It was then that I wanted to experience living there. I kept talking about trying it out before I settled down. I asked the universe for a sign that moving to Colorado was right and still I asked for an adventure. Two very big things to ask the universe for. They say to be careful what you wish for and maybe one day we'll learn how powerful our manifestation really is, but I definitely got my answer.
If you have been following my blog the past few months you will have seen the massive changes I have made in my life. because of certain circumstances I have built myself back up from the ground and I have a new found source of gumption. It was like waking up one day and realizing that going through the rough patches only made me stronger. I have a new found freedom about me where I feel as if anything is possible. Because it is, right?!
Plus I have finally decided to make the move out west, I am going to move to Colorado. Even saying it makes me excited. Right now I am in the research phase and making solid action plans. I have picked a vague date and set it to Spring/early summer of 2018. Looking forward to talking more about that soon.
I also wanted to talk about the thirst to find ourselves. You see finding out who we truly are and what we're made of takes a lot of time and can be extremely hard. We all go through situations that help mold and shape our destiny. And one often meets that destiny on the path to avoid it. The past few months have been some of the most trying times but also the most rewarding. I have lost and gained some pretty heavy lessons.
I am finding out the more I go along that I am actually thankful some of these situations have come up for me. If they didn't I would have had the motivation I needed to do and say what I want and how I feel. I have been asking the universe for an adventure for a very long time. Now looking back I have been given adventure after adventure and now I am getting another one.
With all that is going on today we often forget to look at the bigger picture of our lives. We get super focused on everything else around us that we forget to stop and look at ourselves. Life is messy, it isn't some shiny piece of dream cake. We all have to do our part in making a change. The same goes for finding one's self. Stop and take a moment to reflect on your life and what you want out of it. Do you feel lost, stuck, deserted? How are you going to get your self un stuck, found, and filled with love?
We all have our own timelines, if we stop fixating on how we don't have what someone else has then we would be able to see how much we do have. Finding ourselves comes from overcoming obstacles, seeing our strength, asking for help when needed, being grateful and loving ourselves unconditionally. What are some of the things you love about yourself? What are some of the dreams you put on the back burner and want to start achieving? Don't wait any longer for permission to live your own life. Take a chance and see what happens.
We are in snuggly season and here in Atlanta we finally started to get some fall weather. October was unusually warm, we had a record high for Halloween. Poor things had to trick or treat in 90 degree heat. Yuck!
Regardless of the heat I got to finish October with some pretty spectacular events.. I got to go to Chihuly in the garden, an apple festival, and a book signing. The month was a great start to a new direction for me. A ton of things started to come up for me. Things that I needed to heal, refocus and even decide upon.
I have made a few vows to myself and I want to build upon the ashes that I arise from. Someone once said; "The phoenix is born from the ashes of his past. Each time learning from his mistakes and becoming more powerful each time."
My friend and I often take adventures together. We both share a love for exploring new places, stores, and local events. The Apple festival in Ellijay was one such adventure. Fall is both of our favorite time of year. The clothes, colors, sights, smells and food! We decided to drive up to Ellijay, which is in north Ga. Every year they have their apple festival. The drive was about two hours from Atlanta and worth every min.
The festival was super cute. Had tons of local flair. I got to try apple cider doughnuts for the the first time. I am pretty obsessed with those tiny treats. i'm happy they aren't readily available everywhere. Most of the time we were there we were just being silly and having a good time taking in the sights.
On the way home we stopped at an orchard general store. It was filled with apple products, ciders, pumpkins and dozens of different types of apples. It was hard not to go extremely wild in there. Something I'm super grateful we both were able to reign each other in from going overboard. We picked out our pumpkins, snagged a couple of pecks of apples and some cider. The day was closed out with eating one of the best tomatoes I have ever had, like an apple.
Check out The Awakened Moon's video of our day:
October was the month that began my path to unconditional self love. I have, in the past devoted my entire attention to self loathing and insecurities. I would constantly tell myself I wasn't good enough or gave my self the case of the if/whens. You know the, "when I have...I'll be... and If I only had...could be..." and so on and so forth.
I am not sure the precise moment or even if there was one. I just know that one morning I woke up and felt completely different. It was as if I finally gained that spark to lite. I feel as if I was done with the past, I burst into flames and now I am born again. Ready to spread my wings as a new Phoenix and begin anew.
I've started to notice small changes here and there. Starting with my weight and then seeing a difference in my face. I feel lighter too. I feel as if I am completely liberated. As if a mighty burden was lifted off my shoulders. Things have started to become clearer to me. I know that we may have bad moments, days. or even months. This doesn't mean we have bad lives. I look around me and see how much I really have to be grateful for. I am starting to see the meaning behind, loving myself before someone can love me.
i am excited to start November with great enthusiasm. We finally started to feel a chill in the breeze and I can't help but to feel the winds carrying messages on them for me. Something's coming, I feel something big. Changes have always scared me but I have always worked my way through them. I refuse to let my anxiety or fears take control of me. It may be a struggle, I may fight, but I know I will get through.
Can't wait to share some of my November adventures loves!
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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