Yesterday I had what I like to call, a mini meltdown. When a series of events happen, big or small, they can culminate into a heap of worry and you break down crying or sometimes freaking out. Most of the time the things that we stress about are all normal things just with added irrational fears. Yesterday was one of those days. At the begining of July my boyfriend, Taylor Cornelius asked me to move in with him, I was extremely excited and knew that it was the right time. All signs pointed to yes. This was also followed by some anxiety about moving in with someone. It's been almost five years since I have lived with someone. I began to project my past experiences onto my current relationship. This made me put expectations on how I thought my boyfriend should act about living together and put pressure on him to show how he felt as I showed it. The anxiety compounded when I was informed that my lease actually ended 20 days sooner than expected. This gives me a little over a month to pack, move, and organize. As Taylor and I went to apply for our first apartment together, there were some minor adjustments to our plan. We both shut off, defensively thinking that we couldn't get this apartment, and looking back our reasoning was a little off, which lead to an argument in the parking lot. Sadly the argument was one sided as I continued to spout my reasons for being upset. Projecting my fears of rejection, the pressure of career vs. family and even the dreaded jealousy card. I was giving it all. This went one for about ten minutes until my boyfriend took my hand and told me it was ok to not be the strong one all the time. It was time for him to take the lead, which he did and it was a great step in our relationship.
He calmly talked the situation through with me without passing judgement. He was allowing me to accept when I had to ask for help. Something that I have always had issues with. "Wait, aren't I the one that is supposed to do that?" Holy cow was he actually about to coach me on something. Yes, and it taught me such a valuable lesson. As I sat in my car and listened to him I realized that he was exactly right. I was trying to take care of the whole process on my own and was begining to stress myself out. I cried (I do this often, I am a true water baby and crying is an emotion I have made peace with over the years...sad movies, cards, christmas songs you name it, I'm that girl) and released some much needed energy and apologized for my behavior. Then after a much needed lunch at Shane's we went back to his place for our own versions of meditation and reflections. I learned many lessons yesterday and let go of a lot of past experiences. Mini meltdowns will happen and last night I was thinking of ways that I can go through them with more personal power.
This is what I came up with:
There are many creative ways that you can relax, blow off steam and even let go of past experiences that you no longer wish to harbor. What are some of the ways you calm down during or after a mini meltdown?
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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