Living without regrets...sounds crazy right?
I know! When I was first told about living without regrets I thought of a million things that I have done wrong, wish I did differently or decided to do. But my coach at the time held firm and in her usual approach gave me the "look" and told me to shut up and listen. When we regret something we didn't learn from it, we are hiding from the lesson and that means we have to go back, review, heal and move on. Regret is something that our ego likes to push when we are feeling insecure or unmotivated. It is that little nudge in the side that reminds us, "Hey remember that one time you decided to do that thing and this was what happened?" Yup, that's the one, that's your ego popping up to remind you of your mistake. Just ignore it.
Living without regrets is a practice, it takes time to be able to look at a situation that is happening or has happened and be able to remove yourself from it. Trust me I know, I am still practicing. "Did I make the right decision for this, did I say the wrong thing to them...", but step back, breath and remember it is a process not a race. Are mistakes, failures and actions are how we learn and grow. They are how we form as a person. We make decisions, take chances and leap of the edge into the unknown. What's important is to realize that we are not alone, we have the will to do these things. One of my favorite things to tell people as they are going through this process is, "Never regret any decision you have made or action you have taken, because at that very moment it is exactly what you wanted." This very quote has helped me through a lot of my healing lessons. I have made some amazing decisions and some not so amazing, I have done some wild things and even some pretty crazy stupid ones. But I know as I look back they are all what I wanted to do at that moment and even when it hurt I still choose to go through it. That's why I am here today, blogging about it to you. I went through it myself and now I am here to tell you, it'll be alright. I promise.
One of the first things you must remember is that everyone, and I do mean everyone, from the President to Hollywood celebs have made choices they've regretted. Everyone makes silly choices and makes mistakes just like you and me. So let it go and move on, take what you can from the situation and learn. and forget about the embarrassment. You're ok, it goes by fast. The best part about learning from our mistakes is we start to learn how to make the decisions, and take the opportunities that we really want. So next time you have the chance to make a decision about doing something, pause, take a breath and make sure it is something that you really want.
When you live without regrets you start to really live your life. You start to let the weight of society, others opinions just roll off of you. You start to live for you. I mean it is our lives right? Why do we sit behind the screens of our gadgets, scrolling for approval, scrolling for likes and scrolling to feel like we aren't as awesome as we really are. The time to start living is now and as often as you can. Do things that matter to you, leave toxic atmospheres and relationships behind. Head for the sunshine, take your lunches outside when you can, eat and treat your body with respect. Listen to your heart and give yourself the credit and respect you deserve.
So how do you start practicing living without regrets? How do you begin to know you are making the right decisions and taking the right opportunities? First, grab your journal, piece of paper or your favorite picture you can write on for inspiration and get ready to make some lists. At the top of the "page" write My incredible adventures list! This is the list where you are going to put down every adventure you want to go on. From riding the ferris wheel in a vintage 50's dress, to going to Alaska with a friend. Put it out there, your dreams and adventures are waiting for you and are completely possible. This is the list that you are going to go back and read over and over again when you need a boost, direction and even an idea on something to do on the weekend instead of going to the bar. Once you get started it's hard to stop. I have several Incredible Adventure lists and I am crossing things off more and more these days. Maybe it's time I take another look.
The next thing I want you to do is one of my favorite exercises! It's called a Nectar list! A nectar list is a list of all the incredible things, places and choices you have made in your life that have led you to where you are now. This is a great way to boost your gratitude practice as well as help you to see how amazing you are and how far you have come. Keep this list where you can always find/see it. Add to it as often as you can and remember that no item is to great or to small. So take some time this week and make your lists, go on adventure, erase some regrets off your slate, and begin to live your life, free from the burden, free from regret.
Love and wishes!
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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