This morning I woke up tired, groggy and really upset. The past few nights I have had nightmares plying out my worst fears. One night it was a dream that I was failing life and wouldn't amount to anything, another night I lost all my friends and disowned by my family, and last night my dream was my boyfriend telling me to hit the road. I usually have bad dreams when the universe is trying to tell me something. But how can I trust in my faith when everything points to fear?
For some reason I was battling this morning just to pick myself up and move along with my day. I lost my job, struggling to start a business and feeling as if I am just crawling along through my life. What in the actual fudge! As much as I would like to say I had a successful fight, sadly I am human and my ego got the best to me. I melted into a puddle of tears on the concrete floor. I just sat there, unable to move, letting the tears fall from my eyes freely.
I haven't felt this low in a very long time, that feeling of being lost or stuck. Am I on the right path? What if I am not meant to help others? Should I delete my blog and forget about my dreams? All these feelings crept up and I lost control. I could feel the ugly ego shouting out, "You're not good enough...run!" But I didn't, I decided I needed to work through what I was feeling. Find out why and what I was going to do to get out of my own way.
After a little crying release session, I slowly picked myself off the floor. I just kept telling myself, have faith, keep going, trust. Starting pointing out the things that I was grateful for. I began to slowly feel better and realized something incredible as well. We all fall apart, we all at times feel as if the world is ending and that we should give up. But if we push through, fight the urge to throw in the bucket, we can rise to become something better than the current version of ourselves. This brings me to the magical world of Harry Potter.
It was just only last week that I got to go to both the HP world and Epcot parks. Thanks to my awesome parents, I lived the dream of going to Hogwarts. Harry Potter was a major part of my life. When I was a teenager I went through a tough time with bullying, being an outcast and having very few friends. My mother handed me the first two books of Harry Potter. Originally bought for my brothers, she realized that the magic with in those stories was way more up my alley.
When ever I would get down, feel low or feel as if I was battling the monster within, I would run to my shelf and start reading those stories. I instantly became a fan and was there every book release after that. J.K. Rowling gave us a world where we learned about friendship, love, loyalty and fighting for what we believe in, even if that meant standing alone. So when I walked into the park and saw Diagon Alley the emotions were high.
What is the correlation between these two stories? Me feeling having a bad week and my trip to HP world. When my mom brought me to HP world I was instantly reminded of all the things the story brought to life for me. I remembered what I was fighting for and who I was. I met new friends with the same things in common. I also remembered what the story means to me.
Harry Potter taught us that even though you fall apart, the world does not wait. You have to be strong and pick yourself up off the floor. Friends are one of the most important things one could have in this life. Family is irreplaceable and we should cherish the moments we have with them. Being different can mean you are meant for something bigger than yourself.
As fans we are the ones who keep that magical world alive. It is more than just a fantasy for us, it is a place of comfort. Hogwarts will always be our home. You can ask any HP fan, the story means something different and the same for all of us. It was our escape our adventures and our dreams. We fought along side Dumbledore's Army, we cried with Hermione, and we laughed with the Weasleys.
Being the heroine of your own story is hard. We are the ones that cry at night and smile in the morning. Calling on our friends to help us through the dark but also knowing that we must go by ourselves sometimes too. Life will always throw us challenges but if we make a story out of it the trials don't seem that hard.
We may lose hope, find times to be hard, curse, cry, and even get angry. But we do it, we still fight. Being the heroine of our own story means that we do not wait for someone to save us, we save ourselves. So don't get down on yourself if you have moments that you fall apart. Don't feel guilty if you feel less than heroic. You've got this. Do what I do and take things day by day. Enjoy the good times, cherish the moments, learn from the hard times and be grateful for all that you have.
What are the stories that keep you going? Do you have a book, movie or series that you can always find solace?
How do you fight to be the hero of your own story?
Let me know in the comments below! If you have any recommendations on books or movies I'd love to check them out!
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"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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Loves Hot Pink
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