Reality vs. Expectations
I recently have had an experience where I was unable to coach someone. And if any of you know life coaches/healers, this is one of the most frustrating situations to come across. The hardest part of all there was nothing that I could have done. I wasn't able to coach this person because of my lack of experience or education. I was unable to coach this person because of their lack of wanting to help themselves. But through this situation I found my self learning a couple of big lessons., I can't help everyone nor does everyone want to be helped.
You see this particular person has set up a wide variety of expectations for themselves. Expectations that are not necessarily unattainable but expectations that they thought that they were just going to have handed to them. The issue with this is when we set up expectations but are unprepared for the reality we find ourselves loosing all sense of control. Not that we have control over anything really, just our actions. Expectations really aren't a bad thing to have as long as you keep them within reason and don't get to worked up when they don't go according to plan.
Are we being the victim in our lives?
One thing that is absolutely certain we will always have to go through struggles, obstacles and tons of tough choices. That is what makes us able to call our selves humans. We have the capability to learn through our actions. Every day you will face bumps in the road. From things as small as technology issues to life changing events. The most important thing to remember when we go through these moments is how we react as it is happening.
Being the Aquarian that I am, I tend to have moments of dramatic drama followed by swift action and follow through. I give myself a couple of hours max to play the victim. Then, usually with a friends help, I figure a way out the problem. Thus turning the problem into a solution. This has helped me survive even some of my toughest life changing moments.
Everyone reacts to problems differently. Some people are not effected by trouble or bad days. My father for example is one of those people who can face an issue head on without a second thought. He is the one that has shown me to see the opportunities and solutions within problems, even if I'm super stubborn at times. There are some situations that we have absolutely no control over. These situations come through our lives like a hurricane. We have no way to prepare for them and they can cause us to fall apart. I myself have had several of these happen during my life.
There are those that enjoy playing the role of victim. They enjoy the feeling of being saved, getting the attention, and always having an issue to be fixed. you'll often hear them say things such as; "Why do things always happen to me?", "I have the worst luck.", "Things never go my way.". These type of people take a lot longer to go through obstacles because they always feel as if the world is out to get them, We all have played this part at some point in our lives. But for some they play that role their entire life. Remember growth and healing come from going through major moments, life change events and struggling situations. Push through, learn from it and move forward.
I had to take a step back and allow that I can't help everyone. Letting this person release what needed to be released and let it stop at that. I learned that not everyone wants to help themselves. But what I was taught was to look at what this person reflected to me. Everyone is a mirror for each other. We reflect back that which we need to see in ourselves. What was it about this person made me feel incompetent, frustrated and upset?
Yesterday I had a major transformational Saturday. I started my day off with an activated charcoal-lavender lemonade and a Yin Yoga class. My first yin class ever! The practice is slower and focuses on releasing tension in not only the muscles but also the connective tissues. It also opens up your heart chakra and man was I feeling it. My friend and I left class and met our friend in the shop next door. We spent the next couple of hours chatting about letting go, the past, spiritual guidance, readings and more. By the time i got home I was exhausted and spiritually full. I was so blissed out that I passed out around 9pm. I woke up around 6am sobbing with all sorts of emotions, feeling such a wonderful release. I felt as if I had healed so many parts of my heart in one small moment. It was beautiful.
Remember we all have the ability to over come our obstacles. We have all come far in everything we've encountered in our past. Don't dwell on the past it will only haunt you. Instead use your past to strengthen your future. You've got this!
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Making my way through this 30 something life!
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