The magic of this 30 something life
The meaning behind the quote is one of deep and powerful comitment of loving one's se;f. Being wild hearted is a long road of obstacles, heart break, success and great determination. Not saying that those who don't have wild hearts are weak, not at all. Wild hearts come in many shapes and sizes. Some join the circus while others travel the world tasting coffee. Having a wild heart is something that is completely unique to the individual. But more on that in a bit.
If you have been following my story the past year you noticed, just like many others, 2016 was a year of great loss and transformation for me. in the next couple of weeks I will be turning 33 and I am looking at it with great possibility. The begining of my thirties I almost always felt as if I were climbing up hill. I was always in some sort of struggle, either with my career, purpose, love life or just plain loving myself. The past few years I have dealt with a great deal of baggage, past issues and growth. All things that I can look back and now I finally see the benefit in going through all of these things. While 2016 felt as if it was just a basket of shit being carried around, dropping on us from above. With this new year we have to look back and see the positive outcomes that helped us push forward.
When looking back the first thing you must always remember, look at your past with kind and compassionate eyes. I myself have laid awake at 3am thinking of my past mistakes. Trust me it still happens. I mean who really cares about being what you did when you were 18. Does it really matter that you messed up? No. The only thing that matters is that you look at the situation, see the parts where you were at fault, and begin to forgive yourself. I have been selfish, spoiled, greedy and did some pretty unsavory things in my youth. But dwelling over our wrong doings will never get us anywhere. Instead we must look back and see what changes these actions caused. Look back be accountable and then forgive yourself as well as others.
As I said earlier, I have always had a wild heart. I was never really good at being told what to do, being controlled or someone trying to tame me. No matter how hard I tried, I never really fit in with any groups. And as much as I hate to admit it used to drive me crazy. I always wanted to try new things, be the first to impulsively jump, or yearning for the next adventure. Challenges never scared me, even if I cried I still will stand my ground. Wild hearts learn to love themselves through hardships and determination. But keep in mind that being a wild heart can also have it's set of self destructive side effects.
Sometimes wild hearts learn to buid walls, battle with ocd and can be controlling in nature. We often grow up very independent which can lead to wanting things to go our way. We must all learn to accept both our light and our dark sides. The good and bad qualities we have. That is just part of growing as a person. That is one of the best things about entering your thirties, you start to understand the purpose of your life. And always remember that a purpose, no matter how big our small, is still a purpose. So never let anyone make you feel less for your dreams. You have every right to be where you are, in what ever stage of life, and have your reasons why.
<3 Being single
<3 Creating my personal space
<3 Gaining confidence I never knew I had
<3 Growing from lessons and mistakes
<3 Doing what I want, when I want, without the guilt
<3 Letting go of that which does not work for me
<3 Pushing through obstacles and staying positive after the outcome
<3 Seeing opportunities and grabbing them
<3 Knowing exactly what I want and making plans to achieve it
<3 Spending time with those that truly care for my wellbeing and progress
<3 Telling my loved ones how I feel
<3 Having lazy Sundays and sleep in Saturdays
<3 Being as lazy or productive as I want
<3 Creating a timeline that works for myself
<3 Living my life for myself
<3 Learning to love myself unconditionally
Being comfortable in my own skin has been one of the greatest gifts so far. I spent years battling with my own self worth based upon what others think.
I'll be turning 33 in a couple of weeks and I have never loved myself more than I do right at this moment. I am done with allowing others to justify how I should feel, act, or think. I will no longer look at my body as the enemy. Rather I will love, cherish and nurture it with love and kindness.
Life was meant to be lived not scrutinized. I will love this wild heart, spirit and mind that I have. I will continue to stay interested in everything about myself. I vow to make 2017 the year in which I commit completely to myself and to what I want.
What will you make 2017?