Handling my obsession with perfection
As someone who has gone through the struggles of her 20's herself, I absolutely can no stand when I see women, feel less than what they truly are. It has taken me so, so long to accept myself and day after day I have to be reminded that life is an adventure. I get it, it's hard. But I'll be the first person to tell you, you can achieve happiness and love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let someone else's opinion of you weigh more than your own.
We live in a society which constantly tells us we are not good enough, but guess what? You are!
I never understood the fascination with wanting to be part of the system, or cookie cutter person. I was always different, unique or labeled eccentric. It started back when I was a kid, always drawing on my clothes, go to far off places in my imagination, my nose stuck in a book. While I thought these were all normal things others had different views about how I should live my life. .
Eventually I decided to block out the negative and reflect the positive.
A few years ago I went through one of my biggest transitions in life. I was in my last year of my twenties. It was a bitter sweet feeling, I didn't know wether to be sad, hopeful or both. I had finally made it to a point in my life where I was happy all around. I loved my simple art store job, living in the city and dreaming of places I wanted to visit. Yes I did have a beautiful independent life I was dealing with one major flaw, my obsession with perfection.
Perfection is the hardest habit to break...
For many of us we struggle with the need to feel super human, powerful, and for lack of a better word...perfect. We strive for the perfect bodies, perfect jobs, perfect household and the perfect attitude. This is how major companies get us, they feed off of that need. When true perfection comes from within. I was one of those people, I needed to find my happiness. To love myself for who I was and who I wanted to become.
We don't need to be a certain way to be who others want us to be.
I on my to a friends house when I heard Pink's song, F**kin' Perfect. I remember listening to the song and feeling the surge of emotions rush over me. How was this song doing this to me? As soon as I got home I had to watch the video. As I sat crying at my desk I knew what I had to do, I had to break my obsession with wanting to be perfect, because I already was.
Don't change for anyone but yourself
The other day I was working with someone and some issues in their new relationship. The issue they were having was the fact that she had to make changes to make the guy happy. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. They were required to keep things secret from others, keep a schedule on when and where they can and can not meet and even talk to each other.
I felt so bad for this girl as she clearly was going through this situation blind. She was doing what most of us would do, tip toe around the obvious. I wanted to shout and scream how amazing she was, how unbelievably kind and beautiful. But I knew that she needed to find that herself. No one wants to get hurt, especially by those we care about. But why do try and change to make them happy. Love and happiness should not be conditional.
We justify peoples actions to reassure ourselves.
It's ok, we've all done it. Trust me after one of my failed relationships I cried through the entire book, He's just not that into you. I felt as if everyone was talking to me. I learned that if someone really wants to be in your life, they will step up to that plate (this goes for both relationships and friendships). We often settle because we are lonely or not happy with ourselves. But happiness is within us, and once we find it we rise out of our own ashes and bust forth as a phoenix.
What to do when you feel less than perfect
Even with our greatest intentions we still can get bogged down with daily life. When we have to play the super human, multitasker, and ignore our own needs. So what do we do when the world (and ourselves) wants us to be perfect but we feel anything but:
You might have noticed my absence lately. Well let me tell you, I've been going through a major transition. Not one of major emotion, but one of growth and release. A few months ago I decided to take a leap and take a break from working to build up my business. To say it was rough would be an understatement. But I learned some very important lessons and pushed through some major blocks.
I decided it was time to have a better more organized plan.
One thing I have learned in my adult life is, we have to plant our seeds in order to watch them grow. I was sending so many messages to the universe that I created a shit storm of life lessons. I am proud of myself for taking the leap and leaving a toxic situation but I can't escape the fact that I had to deal with the consequences.
Sometimes what is on the cover doesn't match what's on the inside.
I spent time envying those that were in the position that I wanted to be in. I was comparing my failures to their successes. Haven't I already paid my dues? What I had to learn was that my ego took over the second I let fear in my heart. I had to let go of where I thought I should be and just be in the present moment.
While I did trust the universe I was also losing myself to the reality of what was around me. Life goes on and while we may need a break here and there, life will always be there. My bills began to pile up, I couldn't go out and join friends when invited. I knew I had to take action. Just like that the universe handed me an opportunity.
Sometimes doors open when and where we least expect them.
With this opportunity came a new set of lessons and rewards. I have always wanted to work in a downtown setting. It's always my favorite in movies and books. A girl working in the city and finding what she's made of, and look at me now. Even typing this I am beyond belief of the power of manifestation.
That which we think can become our reality.
The start of this transition was rough, like the sprout of the lotus blossom pushing its way up through the mud, starting the journey towards the sun. I started my journey towards my next chapter, my next adventure. Now that I have more of a handle on things I plan to write about all of it. Because what is life without stories.
So don't fret when obstacles come across your path. Look at things from a different perspective and find the silver lining. Dreams would not be as worth it without the fight. No matter what happens stay focused on what you want.
Make a plan and create action. You deserve your dreams and your dreams deserve you.
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Loves Hot Pink
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