Every now and again we have people come into our lives to teach our lessons. Be it good or bad, they are there for us to grow and learn from the time we are with them. I have recently asked the universe to bring me abundance, prosperity, and to show me those that no longer need to be in my life. What I didn't realize is that the universe has brought me a handful of lessons to weed out what I do and do not need in my life, including people.
Now I don't mean that I want to eliminate people from my life, just the ones who don't have my best interest in their hearts. Toxic people come in many different forms and can do many different things to bring drama to your life. They can be people you consider friends, they can be bosses, or even a person you see at the coffee house every day. They show themselves through jealousy, be over critical of your actions, blame, shame, and even pretending to build you up just to be there when you fall.
Sometimes it is super hard to pick out the toxic people, and sometimes it is super easy. I have had my fair share of having to remove people from my life through major dramatic episodes. Having huge fallouts or long aggressive emails explaining all the ways that they have hurt me. Removing them from your lives can and may be dramatic but once it is done it will leave you feeling relieved. As you remove, set boundaries and limit your time with toxic people, you are making more room for positive, happy, successful people to come in.
When going through your list of people who have hurt you use as much discernment as possible. Take in consideration of projection, personal issues/feelings and even people having a bad day. You don't want to remove someone just because they had a bad day and you felt annoyed that they were telling you about it. Really take time to set up those healthy boundaries with you peers, friends, family, coworkers etc. Once you have created your boundaries it will be easier to weed out the ones who like to cross them.
Ways to identify toxic people
They constantly call you to talk about their problems, but when you need the ear they are never around or always busy
They say how much they miss you and want to see you, but it always has to be on their time
Ignoring your feelings and put you down to make themselves feel better
Places the blame upon you when they can't take accountability
Constantly projects their emotions, feelings, pain, problems on you
Wants you to do things your uncomfortable with because they do want to do it on their own
Expects you to be a door mat for them
Shames you and your image
Removing Toxic actions
As we go through our lives we go through many different shifts. Learning what we like, do not like, and things that make us happy or unhappy. I know I have made many changes between my young twenties to now, (early thirties).
There have been many times I have had to reevaluate my life and the actions that I was doing. Believe or not, I am going through this right now. Take a look at all the actions you take in a day, what are the ones that make you happy, what are the ones that make you upset. Why do we do them, why do we put our selves through the bs? Because it's habit!
It's time to take charge of your lives and stir things up a bit. Don't like doing the dishes...pretend your on a game show. I'm totally serious. I absolutely despise doing dishes, but living with someone makes that a bit hard to avoid. So when it is my turn to do the dishes, I put on my headphones and dance the hell out of myself while scrubbing my dishes. I pretend that I have to get all the dishes done in a certain time. Plus bonus, the more you dance the more of a workout you get. Multi tasking!
Now there are some things that have to be done at a slower pace. Things like jobs, finances, living situations, etc. When a job becomes a toxic environment and the tasks you do their don't bring you joy, it may be time to move, switch jobs or positions. That can be hard, most of us don't have the luxury of being able to just up and quite our jobs. So take things slow, start by talking with your superior about what is going on, maybe put out some feelers for other jobs, or ask your family/partner/friends for advice and help. The biggest thing to remember, you do not deserve to be unhappy. *Side note: You boss and/or co-worker can be in the toxic people category.
Another thing that can be put into the toxic actions category, drugs, alcohol, food, medication, and even sex. Yup, sex can actually become toxic if not done for positive, healthy or fun reasons. Now I have done my fair share of recreational drugs and alcohol in my day...shhhhh! Omg! She said she did drugs...we'll save that for another blog. When you use drugs/alcohol/medication, etc. to block out pain, except reality, or every time you are upset this can lead to addiction and you may need to talk to someone professionally.
Having the occasional drink with friends, a joint here or there, or a one night stand, can be liberating, but remember all in moderation. Life is not about excess, it is about balance.
Removing toxic thoughts
Toxic thoughts are thoughts that you create on your own to dim your own light. They are those thoughts that keep telling you, "you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not talented enough." You get the idea. The fact of the matter is, you are! You are amazing, perfect, talented, beautiful and can create such a beautiful life for yourself.
I have my toxic thoughts, and I am learning to address them head on. Every time one comes up for me, I simply acknowledge it, say ok I see what you're trying to do and replace it with a positive affirmation. Try it, it feels incredible.
What are some toxic things you have gotten rid of in your lives, thoughts, or daily process? Let me know in the comments below. Let's talk about it and help each other with new, fresh ideas!
Do any of you hula hoop?! It is so much fun and is an extremely great way to get into shape. Going to put together a blog soon of some tips, tricks and videos to help you learn how to get started. Stay tuned and let me see some hooping pics/vids on Instagram!
We made it out of the retrograde! Huzzah! How is everyone doing? Today is the first day out of Mercury retrograde and wow what a ride. This retrograde brought to light the many lessons of healing that I need to go through to level up in this game called, life. I learned lessons of self love, creating healing energy, and most importantly the at of letting go.
I used to have a very hard time with letting things go, I would hold on to ideas, people, objects and past hurt. If anything or anyone had sentimental meaning (good or bad), I would keep a connection with them energetically. Learning how to let go has been an ongoing process, because I am a natural healer, I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. This has led into problems oh so many times in the past and sad to say, recent past as well. But I know that healing is a process, one must always be gentle with themselves in order to grow.
The art of letting go can be difficult, and with Mercury's influence we all got a giant shove forward. Old memories, past wounds and mistakes all come flooding into your head. Filling you up with anxiety. So how do we prevail? Work through it. We must remember that in order to heal we must go through the pain. Allow memories to surface, allow yourself to go through the feelings, and when the time is done, release it towards the universe.
When the regret of a past mistake, choice, embarrassing moment surfaces, forgive. Go back to that place, sit with yourself through the memory. It will get icky, and you'll probably have some things you would like to say. Just hug yourself and forgive. Remember that you have to go through these things in order to learn something. Take a personal inventory of what you did after the situation. What did you learn from it? What was something positive that came from the situation? If it helps, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself "I forgive you." Do this until you actually feel yourself forgiven. Remember be patient.
Never regret anything you've done, because at that moment it is exactly what you wanted and it has brought you to where you are now! You can either hide from it or learn from it.
Mercury Retrograde de-stress tips
Here's a few of my favorite ways to detox from a retrograde:
Start a new workout routine
Hydrate more, especially using lemons!
20min Dead Sea salt baths, these are great for detoxing your physical and energetic body
Have a girls night
Get together with a friend over tea/coffee and catch up
Write in a journal
Put some great tunes on and dance around the apartment
As women connecting with your feminine energy is vital to your sense of self, health and overall happiness. Your awakening occurs when you find your source of power within and let it free. There are many things against a woman that can make us feel completely at a loss or overwhelmed by the pressure surrounding us. We are raised in a world that can confuse and place unwanted guilt upon our already weak sense of confidence. So what should we do...thrive! Finding your inner Goddess can help you overcome the obstacles we as women face daily.
Your inner Goddess ignites sexuality, feminism, and power. She is one and many Goddess's before her. It is the power you call upon when you need love, strength and guidance. She helps you when you are stuck and she helps you when you succeed. Finding her comes in many forms, some research and find a Goddess to identify with and some use their intuition. One of the best ways I have found is by sitting in a meditation centered on finding her.
Meditation: Light some candles, burn some incense and set up your sacred space. Sit or lay in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing. In and out, in and out. As you begin as you begin to relax start to allow yourself to sink deep into the dark. Focus on a white light surrounding you. As the light starts to spread out you will see a forest, the most beautiful forest you have ever seen, green trees and flowers all blossoming around you. You notice a sense of excitement and willingness to want to enter the woods. This is where you will meet your Goddess.
Take a moment to walk around and look at your surroundings, breath in the fresh air and feel the sunlight warm you face. Up ahead you notice a figure, she's dancing and signing under the falling leaves and flower petals. As you get closer she tuns and smiles at you. She beckons you to join in her dance. Acknowledge her, thank her. Look at her face, what clothes is she wearing, what season is it while you are with her, does she say anything? When time is done she will let you know. Thank her as you begin your journey back out the woods. As you exit the trees, turn around and send your blessings, let them know you shall return. You notice a chair sitting in the grass, take a seat and focus on your breathing. slowly bring your awareness back to the room, wiggle your toes and fingers and gently open your eyes. You just met your Goddess, congratulations now the exciting part. Write down all that you saw right after you awaken. This is a meditative writing process and it helps to spark your creativity. Once you have all the details down spend a few moments looking up different Goddesses from around the world and find the one that represents who you saw. Then it is time to get to know her.
As you grow to learn about your Goddess you will began to learn how to honor her, by sitting up small rituals when it's her time of the season, meditating with her, and calling upon her to invoke her power. Remember there is no right or wrong, and it is all a part of the process to research, identify and experiment with your Inner Goddess. A few years ago I met my Goddess in a guided meditation, the Goddess of Avalon. I have spent the last few years, learning the ways of Avalon and have called upon her guidance many times. Part of my journey is to help other women find their Goddess and thrive.
Let me know who your Goddess is? How do you honor and celebrate her? When have you known her to be at your side? Let me know in the comments below! Have a beautiful day you amazing Goddess you! <3
Happy June everyone! What a great way to start off the month, I love the moon, don't you? She's so beautiful, giving and powerful. During Full and New Moon's are the perfect time to clear your plate and re-prioritize your goals. Tuesday night was the full moon was in Sagittarius. This brings about a focus on adventuring, exploring and even making big decisions. the Full moon is also the start of new energy for the month.
One of my favorite things to do is a release and attraction burning ceremony, an incredible healing modality. It allows you to get on paper the things you want to manifest and heal with in you. Then as you burn and release your list into the universe it removes any control of having the "whats and whens". You are free to enjoy the present while allowing your wishes to come to fruition for the future.
All you need is a piece of paper, pen and some of your spiritual items to help you ground and connect to the divine energy/universe. First, ground and center yourself, calling upon the your higher power to help gain that which you need and release which you don't need. Once your centered take your piece of paper and fold it in half. On one side write, to release and on the other, to attract. Take a few moments to really thing about what you would like to release and attract from your life.
Once you have your list read your list out loud, starting with what you want to release, followed by what you want to attract. Now the fun part! Go outside with a burn safe bowl and tear your paper up as much as you can. You want to imagine your wishes going up into the universe as you burn the paper and release the control you they have on you.
Once you have finished go back inside and sit in a meditation for a few minutes. Enjoy the feeling of relief and know that the Universe and the Divine have your back. You have all that you need to move forward.
Hi there, I'm Bex! Nature Lover Cottage Witch Magic Worker Hufflepuff Pukwudgie Pink Roses Bubble Baths Stary Nights Full Moons Tea Lover Water Bearer Snow White Wanderer