As we all head to our perspective holiday festivities, there is a massive shove and push for us to show our gratitude. Status updates, instagram pictures and continuous blogs all over are shouting about the topic. While I am happy to see so many people talking about what they are grateful for I wonder why we can't do this more often. Why do we do things like this when it's popular? Now I obviously know that there will always be good days and some bad, but we can't ignore that we should be as grate fun as possible every day, even the bad ones. Then I realized something the other day, maybe some of us don't know how or what to be grateful for. It is in the moments.
As you may have read in my last blog, Autumn Reflections, I recently underwent some major reflections. I have had some serious leveling up moments lately. In between the old and the new versions of myself. It has been both upsettingly problematic and invigoratingly uplifting. Many days and nights crying and feeling sorry for myself. Then one day I woke up and the pity party barge finally left port and I was ready for some healing. One of the major things that I have had to make piece with, having me time. If you follow me on Instagram you'll notice the past week I have posted about my much needed "me time" moments. From Yoga and personal growth time, to horse ridding with a friend. I had to get back to the things that make me happy and keep me sane. I have push them all to the back burner because I am so wrapped up with creating a business. I honestly came to the conclusion of realization that I can't help others to happiness if I don't respect myself enough to do the same. So I invited one of my bf's over and asked her to be my accountability partner and help me stay on tasks. To do lists and deadlines I am ready to go.
So how do we see small amounts of happiness? Well we just open our eyes that's all. Happiness is all around, in the small moments of the day. When we laugh, when we are goofy, when someone holds open a door for us. They are found in acts of kindness, sharing, and eating it forward. I have also heard stories of people finding happiness in the few moments they have alone in the morning, before the kids wake, before the husbands alarm goes off, they just still in the the still and quiet minutes of the morning. I have talked many times of making gratitude lists, I am often reminded in by my books on writing them in the morning and right before you go to sleep. Start a gratitude journal, even if it's electronically. By writing down the things we are grateful for and the moments that mean so much to us we are attracting like things and will receive more and more.
So this week while the tv is on, family gatherings are running around, the influx of food heading toward you and the beckoning of the Christmas season is at your door, remember take some time and practice your gratitude. Practice your self love, do some yoga, read some of your book, meditate, take a walk anything to have some personal time to yourself. Also take some time to appreciate the small moments of happiness this week. Love and blessings to you and yours.
Awhile back I had mentioned about doing a new moon ceremony. The new moon was in her maiden stage and in-between Scorpio and Sagittarius. I did a lot of spiritual work on reflection upon myself, releasing negative energy and unwanted behaviors, as well as attracting the positive attributes that I so long to work on. I knew it was time to take my practice to the next level so I set my intentions, gather my supplies and set up sacred space. With the moon in transition between Scorpio and Sagittarius, I was thrusted into energy of getting shit done and doing things I want, both qualities brought on by each sign. Since I have a lot of Scorpio in my chart I got hit pretty hard with, where is your life going, and it really packed a punch. I admire both of these signs a lot, Scorpio's for their determination and give no f*<ks attitude, and Sagittarius's for their I do what I want and sense of adventure attitudes. It's so intoxicating.
I prayed, honored my Goddess, lit candles, smudged, and burned intentions. Burning stuff is one of the highlights of intention and energy works. I love getting things out on paper, burning them in my tiny cauldron and releasing them into the universe. Sometimes, forgetting that energy and intention work is extremely powerful. That old saying, "Be careful what you wish for.." is very true.While I did want to do some release and reflection work, I did not intend for the powerful blow that the universe (my higher power) handed me. Within the next couple of days I got a cold, boo! Not that anyone likes a cold but this one was definitely one of an energetic nature and I was not as prepared as I thought. I can not lie at first I had no idea as to why I got a cold, I am pretty healthy and rarely get a cold. I'm talking about maybe twice a year if that and not for very long either. But this is the second one in almost two months and both of which have lasted almost two weeks. What in the sam hill!
I have gone through so many emotions, feelings and emotional release the past two weeks I honestly thought I was fighting a depression spiral. I finally talked to a good friend of mine who helped me trace back my steps and realize what was going on. After about an hour of talking through some of my actions and what was going on she pointed out to me that my body was reflecting all of what was going on inside. Think Elsa from Frozen, minus the fun whirlwind of snow and ice. I was battling with my internal wants and needs, releasing the old to make way for the new. almost everything I asked to release energetically is what I went through emotionally the past couple of weeks. Despite the runny nose, coughing and other side effects of a cold, I really love when these types of moments happen. It's like a reassurance that our spirituality is working. Now while I don't pressure others to follow the same path as me, i do encourage them to find one that is appealing and attractive to them. One of our gifts as humans is spirituality, no matter what you believe, it's powerful.
I've worked through relationships, friendships, fear of failure, life decisions, my path and even my confidence. Most of what I have gone through in recognition is my self love and personal care. By being so wrapped up in trying to get a business going, blogging, products, coaching and all of the other things I have going on I have forgotten how to practice what I preach. So yesterday, I finally felt better and as the sun rose into our windows I knew it was going to be a good day. Before I spun around and put my feet on the floor I mentally said, "Today is going to be a great day, today I am open to receive blessings." As I placed my feet on the floor I knew my intentions were in place and I was ready for the day. I made sure to pull on the positive energy that was coming in and not only do some personal development work but also have some fun for myself. I wanted to remember the primary foods that are important to me. I also wanted to move, move my body, move my spirit and move what was left over and release it out of me. I did just that. I put on some music, danced, hooped, and I even brought out my belly skirt and light sabers. To say I had fun would be an understatement. Rusty, out of breath and smiling, I was brought back to the things that brought me to happiness before.
It is amazing how easy it is to forget ourselves, we are so busy trying to reach certain goals we forget how to play, how to rest, how to work, and how to live. Less than two months till the new year and we are reminded how fast time goes by. Now is the time to do some reflection work. What do you really want out of life? What to you need to be happy? When was the last time you worked on you? What are you grateful for? These are all good things we need to ask ourselves as the autumn winds carry our intentions away. With all that is going on in the world we can not afford to live our lives for someone else. Spend time with those you love, laugh often and do you. The full moon is coming up and with that sets certain things into motion and into place. So take some time and write down things you want, things you want to release, things you want to attract, your dreams, goals and wishes. Really think about them and get ready to do the work, cause it comes at you from the left field.
Things to do the next week:
This past week I have been sick with some random cold. I have been sitting my red nose, grumpy butt on the couch and catching up on some reading, reflection and rest. Being a spiritual being, having two colds in under two months, I know I am releasing some major things before the new year. A lot of times when we have a physical ailment, it is our energetic self that is trying to tell us. That is why we have Reiki masters, Chiropractors, spiritual counselors to help us move through these situations. But before I get way ahead of myself and start blabbing about energy and spirituality, let me get back to the subject of reflection.
This past few days one of the things I have been working on is my self improvement. For both professionally and personally. Working on my "why's" and purpose(s). I came across question that it hit me pretty hard, What do I want to remember when I am older and looking back on my life, thirty or so years from now? .Have you ever thought about that? It is pretty coming to say things along the lines of, "When I am older I want to tell my grand children...When I get older I am going to be remembered for..." But have you actually sat down and wrote it out. It is pretty liberating and not gonna lie a bit of a motivator. I mean time flies, just a few short years ago I was in my twenties, running around and thinking I had nothing but time to waste. But now, at the start of my thirties, planning to be a boss babe, trying to provide for my future and I need to get my life. So I decided to write out what I want my life to be like when I am older and what my story will be.
When I'm older...
When I am older...sounds like the beginning of an essay for school doesn't it? Let me get into the visualization here.
"Sitting in my victorian style garden smiling at where life brought me. City girl to the T, never thought I would live outside of it, remembering how amazing my life has been up to this point. I can see my self as the sunset is hitting my face, wrinkled and smile lines, flowing dress and my animals all around me. My life has been amazing, filled with ups, downs and in-betweens. Growing up in my wild, Griswold family and taking family vacations. First time living on my own, sliding into my twenties with first time major life experiences, parties, college, all nighters, staying up late to watch the sunrise, the world at my fingertips. Growing into my thirties, starting a business of my own, going back to school, forming relationships, becoming an adult. Starting to really live my life towards my forties, success building, building a family, taking trips around the world. Relaxing and living heading through my fifties, encouraging others that life is still available. Now as I am heading into my sixties and seventies, smiling at all that I have accomplished, learned and lived. No fear of my age anymore, knowing that I am leaving behind the legacy of life, love and dreams. As the sun sets on my beautiful garden I sigh with a sense of amazing gratitude and head back in to snuggle with my husband on the porch swing."
Makes me feel all happy and warm inside as I read back through my little future visual and story. I want to work towards that, I want to help others to achieve that as well. Our lives are precious, we don't always have the time we think we were promised. Cherish yourself, your loved ones and lessons that help you to grow. Don't waste time on piddly things or negativity. Unhappy in your job, plan, research and make your moves to try another one. In a toxic relationship that doesn't align with your goals, happiness or wellbeing, leave, you'll be ok. want to go for your dreams, want to try your hand at being your own boss, go ahead and try. There will be others that will put you down, tell you your choices are wrong, but in the end it is your life to learn, grow and achieve. Listen to the ones who opinions matter and if they show concern show and explain to them why you are deciding to change your life around. Be honest, be positive, show gratitude and learn to love yourself.
So what will your life look like when you're older and looking back on it? Will you remember yourself and be filled with regret and what if's or will you be laughing at all the amazing things that you did, good and bad? We have com this far, we have made it, fought, lived, cried, loved, laughed and learned. We all have different dreams, goals and levels of success. Keep trying, keeping fighting, start living, begin your next adventure and go for the possibilities. Your dreams are out there, if you are willing to fight for them, work hard and don't give up no matter what. You've got this!
Things to help inspire:
What are some of the ways you ensure you are living your best life ever? Gotta trick, tip, idea, let me know in my comments below. Have a wonderful night my dreamers, big hugs!
We are now in our second week of November and here in Atlanta I fear we might have forgotten what the sun looks like. It has been raining for close to three weeks now and to say that most of us have cabin fever would be an understatement. But that doesn't hold me back from enjoying my favorite time of the year.
I truly love the months from October through January. I love as October settles in and the cool air blows, I start to get the sense and feel of Fall. The colors, the smells, the holidays and my all time favorite thing, fuzzy boots. I mean why not be warm and comfortable, right? The beginning of autumn fills me with the energy of starts and starting new projects.
Towards the end of September I not only left a toxic environment I also decided it was time to start planning some of the things I placed on the back burner for far to long. That's what great about fall, it brings us the motivating energy of change, growth and purpose. I took the leap and now I am gaining blessings everyday. Minus this cold I am nursing right now, maybe my body is trying to tell me take a rest. So I think back on this awesome weekend and what lies ahead as The Hobbit plays i the background, (not to mention, tissues, free juice and water right beside me).
On the horizon for Bexster's blog! I 'm currently working on some awesome digital products and programs to help you gain confidence, live happier, increase motivation and more. On the way are also some fun blogs about looking back on life, practicing mindfulness, working with stones and crystals and more! So stay tuned for some more awesome fun, adventures and fun living.
Living without regrets...sounds crazy right?
I know! When I was first told about living without regrets I thought of a million things that I have done wrong, wish I did differently or decided to do. But my coach at the time held firm and in her usual approach gave me the "look" and told me to shut up and listen. When we regret something we didn't learn from it, we are hiding from the lesson and that means we have to go back, review, heal and move on. Regret is something that our ego likes to push when we are feeling insecure or unmotivated. It is that little nudge in the side that reminds us, "Hey remember that one time you decided to do that thing and this was what happened?" Yup, that's the one, that's your ego popping up to remind you of your mistake. Just ignore it.
Living without regrets is a practice, it takes time to be able to look at a situation that is happening or has happened and be able to remove yourself from it. Trust me I know, I am still practicing. "Did I make the right decision for this, did I say the wrong thing to them...", but step back, breath and remember it is a process not a race. Are mistakes, failures and actions are how we learn and grow. They are how we form as a person. We make decisions, take chances and leap of the edge into the unknown. What's important is to realize that we are not alone, we have the will to do these things. One of my favorite things to tell people as they are going through this process is, "Never regret any decision you have made or action you have taken, because at that very moment it is exactly what you wanted." This very quote has helped me through a lot of my healing lessons. I have made some amazing decisions and some not so amazing, I have done some wild things and even some pretty crazy stupid ones. But I know as I look back they are all what I wanted to do at that moment and even when it hurt I still choose to go through it. That's why I am here today, blogging about it to you. I went through it myself and now I am here to tell you, it'll be alright. I promise.
One of the first things you must remember is that everyone, and I do mean everyone, from the President to Hollywood celebs have made choices they've regretted. Everyone makes silly choices and makes mistakes just like you and me. So let it go and move on, take what you can from the situation and learn. and forget about the embarrassment. You're ok, it goes by fast. The best part about learning from our mistakes is we start to learn how to make the decisions, and take the opportunities that we really want. So next time you have the chance to make a decision about doing something, pause, take a breath and make sure it is something that you really want.
When you live without regrets you start to really live your life. You start to let the weight of society, others opinions just roll off of you. You start to live for you. I mean it is our lives right? Why do we sit behind the screens of our gadgets, scrolling for approval, scrolling for likes and scrolling to feel like we aren't as awesome as we really are. The time to start living is now and as often as you can. Do things that matter to you, leave toxic atmospheres and relationships behind. Head for the sunshine, take your lunches outside when you can, eat and treat your body with respect. Listen to your heart and give yourself the credit and respect you deserve.
So how do you start practicing living without regrets? How do you begin to know you are making the right decisions and taking the right opportunities? First, grab your journal, piece of paper or your favorite picture you can write on for inspiration and get ready to make some lists. At the top of the "page" write My incredible adventures list! This is the list where you are going to put down every adventure you want to go on. From riding the ferris wheel in a vintage 50's dress, to going to Alaska with a friend. Put it out there, your dreams and adventures are waiting for you and are completely possible. This is the list that you are going to go back and read over and over again when you need a boost, direction and even an idea on something to do on the weekend instead of going to the bar. Once you get started it's hard to stop. I have several Incredible Adventure lists and I am crossing things off more and more these days. Maybe it's time I take another look.
The next thing I want you to do is one of my favorite exercises! It's called a Nectar list! A nectar list is a list of all the incredible things, places and choices you have made in your life that have led you to where you are now. This is a great way to boost your gratitude practice as well as help you to see how amazing you are and how far you have come. Keep this list where you can always find/see it. Add to it as often as you can and remember that no item is to great or to small. So take some time this week and make your lists, go on adventure, erase some regrets off your slate, and begin to live your life, free from the burden, free from regret.
Love and wishes!