Removing Toxic People
Every now and again we have people come into our lives to teach our lessons. Be it good or bad, they are there for us to grow and learn from the time we are with them. I have recently asked the universe to bring me abundance, prosperity, and to show me those that no longer need to be in my life. What I didn't realize is that the universe has brought me a handful of lessons to weed out what I do and do not need in my life, including people.
Now I don't mean that I want to eliminate people from my life, just the ones who don't have my best interest in their hearts. Toxic people come in many different forms and can do many different things to bring drama to your life. They can be people you consider friends, they can be bosses, or even a person you see at the coffee house every day. They show themselves through jealousy, be over critical of your actions, blame, shame, and even pretending to build you up just to be there when you fall.
Sometimes it is super hard to pick out the toxic people, and sometimes it is super easy. I have had my fair share of having to remove people from my life through major dramatic episodes. Having huge fallouts or long aggressive emails explaining all the ways that they have hurt me. Removing them from your lives can and may be dramatic but once it is done it will leave you feeling relieved. As you remove, set boundaries and limit your time with toxic people, you are making more room for positive, happy, successful people to come in.
When going through your list of people who have hurt you use as much discernment as possible. Take in consideration of projection, personal issues/feelings and even people having a bad day. You don't want to remove someone just because they had a bad day and you felt annoyed that they were telling you about it. Really take time to set up those healthy boundaries with you peers, friends, family, coworkers etc. Once you have created your boundaries it will be easier to weed out the ones who like to cross them.
Ways to identify toxic people
Removing Toxic actions
As we go through our lives we go through many different shifts. Learning what we like, do not like, and things that make us happy or unhappy. I know I have made many changes between my young twenties to now, (early thirties).
There have been many times I have had to reevaluate my life and the actions that I was doing. Believe or not, I am going through this right now. Take a look at all the actions you take in a day, what are the ones that make you happy, what are the ones that make you upset. Why do we do them, why do we put our selves through the bs? Because it's habit!
It's time to take charge of your lives and stir things up a bit. Don't like doing the dishes...pretend your on a game show. I'm totally serious. I absolutely despise doing dishes, but living with someone makes that a bit hard to avoid. So when it is my turn to do the dishes, I put on my headphones and dance the hell out of myself while scrubbing my dishes. I pretend that I have to get all the dishes done in a certain time. Plus bonus, the more you dance the more of a workout you get. Multi tasking!
Now there are some things that have to be done at a slower pace. Things like jobs, finances, living situations, etc. When a job becomes a toxic environment and the tasks you do their don't bring you joy, it may be time to move, switch jobs or positions. That can be hard, most of us don't have the luxury of being able to just up and quite our jobs. So take things slow, start by talking with your superior about what is going on, maybe put out some feelers for other jobs, or ask your family/partner/friends for advice and help. The biggest thing to remember, you do not deserve to be unhappy. *Side note: You boss and/or co-worker can be in the toxic people category.
Another thing that can be put into the toxic actions category, drugs, alcohol, food, medication, and even sex. Yup, sex can actually become toxic if not done for positive, healthy or fun reasons. Now I have done my fair share of recreational drugs and alcohol in my day...shhhhh! Omg! She said she did drugs...we'll save that for another blog. When you use drugs/alcohol/medication, etc. to block out pain, except reality, or every time you are upset this can lead to addiction and you may need to talk to someone professionally.
Having the occasional drink with friends, a joint here or there, or a one night stand, can be liberating, but remember all in moderation. Life is not about excess, it is about balance.
Removing toxic thoughts
I have my toxic thoughts, and I am learning to address them head on. Every time one comes up for me, I simply acknowledge it, say ok I see what you're trying to do and replace it with a positive affirmation. Try it, it feels incredible.
What are some toxic things you have gotten rid of in your lives, thoughts, or daily process? Let me know in the comments below. Let's talk about it and help each other with new, fresh ideas!
Have a wonderful day dreamers!