Things really didn't set in with the move until I crossed the border into Tennessee. As I was crossing over the border, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman started to play. It really hit me that I was actually leaving Atlanta. I suddenly remembered the memory my friend attached to this song and how meaningful it was to him. Then I started to think about what the song meant to me, especially as I was heading for my dreams and taking chances. I was singing at the top of my lungs with tears falling down my face. I was happy and sad at the same time. I was leaving behind nothing but love and knew that I would see my friends and family again. That this was something I wanted and needed to do for myself.
With each song on my playlist and each mile marker I jammed along to the soundtrack of my life movie. I kept saying to myself how exciting it was to be doing this journey. Loudly telling myself out loud, look girl you're doing this, you're going to Colorado. I felt liberated and free. I felt as if I was finally allowing that magical spirit wild. Going on the adventure I have been asking for, for so long. I had no real plan other than what city to stop in and rest. I knew my destination and just let my gps guide me where it would. Enjoying every part and every view.
I look around and see how so many of my friends struggle with the choice of going for or leaving their dreams. I see so many people decided that they aren't worth fighting for themselves or what they want in life. I used to be one of them. I used to cry each night wondering why I felt so low. Asking my friends why I was always left, why I was last, and why I was so insecure? But what I didn't realize was that everything starts with ourselves and how we feel about us first. We are made in love and born to experience this life. We get beaten down by ex lovers, family, jobs, burdens, regrets or mistakes. I will be the first to tell you, your past can push you but it doesn't have to define you. You are not your past. And you have every right to go for your dreams. That is what this move means to me. When I was told it wasn't possible, I made it possible. You can do that too!
First off finding this place was interesting, for it is two restaurants in one. So the entrance is shared and I was not aware. I must of walked back and forth on the street 3 times before I finally asked my friends how to get find it and it was totes worth it. The place was super cool with spacey art all over. Since I was by myself I got to sit in probably the coolest place ever. There was a single rowed table on top of the bar, I mean literally on top of the bar and it over looked the whole place and out onto the street. Epic! Right off the bat the bartenders struck up a conversation, the people next to me stuck up a conversation and I noticed around the whole restaurant not one person was on their phone. I couldn't believe it, every one was talking to each other, enjoying each others company. And the food was absolutely amazing and everything had a veggie option next to it. Win, Win!
The whole rest of the day was met with friendly people and by the time I got back to my motel I noticed that not once did I feel nervous. Not once did my shyness come out. I talked to so many people and didn't feel threatened or insecure. I am what is called an ambivert and in the past I have had so much trouble trying to balance both my intro- and extra- vertedness. I promised myself and a friend that I would try to be more extrovert coming out here. Bam, first day here and I already talked and met so many without a problem. Who knew? I know it takes baby steps but I was so proud of myself that I want to keep it going.
So here I am, drinking my coffee out my princess mug and listening to coffee house music smiling as I write this. Feeling nostalgic and ready to go on my adventure in Boulder today. Time to start scoping out areas to live and crossing my fingers to find that epic space. Here we go, day two! Let's see what adventures today brings.