This evening I write at my little desk as the fireplace glows and snow falls down. IT is an idyllic scene and I am beyond ecstatic. All my stuff is moved in and unpacked, and we are settling in nicely. Each night I go to bed happy and wake the next morning giggling. I can feel my spirit glowing more and more each day. And with each new experience I am still utterly happy I made this decision.
Each day has brought me a found sense of myself. I honestly don't know how to explain the internal awareness I have gotten or the confidence that just sorta sprung up overnight. I feel happier, stronger, and much more alive. I feel as if someone finally showed me the worth I have within my heart, and that person ended up being me.
I realize that my worth doesn't come from makeup, clothes, size, skin tone, job, it comes from the love that we hide inside ourselves. Seriously, what took me so long? And why did moving spring this new found philosophy?
It wasn't until the other night how I realized that what I choose to do to better myself and my life, is something that most would be terrified to even try. The other night a friend and I were facing timing talking about the move and catching up on what's been going on. She started to tell me how her family was inspired by my move. Told her that it took bravery and major courage to just up and leave all that I knew. I was taken aback with the encouragement and well wishes. Not to mention that I was getting these amazing compliments from someone who knew me only through hearsay. Goes to show how your actions can reach those you never knew. That was the moment I decided it was time to give myself some credit for taking the leap.
When was the last time you took a chance on something that you wanted for your life? Now I'm not talking about buying new shoes or game consoles (though they are things that can make us happy, even momentarily), but the chance to change your life. Are you stuck in unhappiness and misery because it's easy? I've been there as I sure most of us have. What are some of the reasons that you skipped out on an opportunity for yourself? Did you not take that job that you wanted bc you thought you were unfit? Wanted to travel to another country but found excuses not to save money? Do you want to life weights but afraid of what others will say? Move to another city but gave yourself every reason not to? Yeah trust me I completely understand, and yes that last one was mine.
I was scared, terrified, and absolutely ridiculous about moving away from Atlanta. I had visited Colorado several times in just a few shorts years, knowing that I wanted to come back. Each time I would say how I wanted a vacation home there which eventually turning into me wanting to live here. And each time I would say I want to move I would manifest a reason why I couldn't "move yet". Because I loved my job, because my friends would forget me, because I've fallen in love and the guy I'm with doesn't want to move. What was I doing to myself?
So last year at the beginning of August my ex of four years and I split apart. It was sudden and I was completely blindsided. I mean we had just resigned our lease for another year and I had to rearrange my life in all of two weeks. But I did it, and what stemmed from that was my decision to move to Colorado. It was easy and took no time to announce to the world about my choice. And I did again, I distracted my self with work and dating guys that I knew would break my heart. But when that final week approached, when all my stuff was packed. Even to the moment that I was driving out of GA, It still didn't sink in. It wasn't until I was handed the keys to my new apartment that everything came back into play. I did it.
If I could leave you with any message after this it would be to take a chance on something that you want but it completely terrifies you. Don't let anyone hold you back not even yourself. We to often follow our dreams through someone else's lenses. Starting looking through your own.
- make long playlists of all types of music
- split the trip up in half
- set yourself up for adventure and don't sweat the small bumps in your journey
- meet new people and experience connection
- take tons of pictures
- confidence can spring up out of nowhere
- learn from your past, don't run from it
- stay connected to family and friends
- enjoy each and every moment, small or large
- journal through the experience
- it's okay to cry, even happy tears
- be excited about everything possible
- don't let others make you feel guilty about the things that make you happy
- learn to love yourself and your self as company
- it's okay to miss people but don't dwell on those who've hurt you
- things are brighter out west, no seriously it's blinding
- no humidity and elevation takes time to get used to
- drinking becomes a new experience at higher altitudes
- exercising is so much more intense out here
- you drink your weight in water
- mountains are some of the most humbling formations Earth created
- low gear and 4 wheel drive are your friends
- social anxiety is not a big thing out here
- see the world for her possibilities. Not as it should be but as it could be.
- Be yourself and make your self happy first
- find out what really matters to you in all manners of your life
- take those chances, even if some of them may hurt, it can bring you to a whole new place in your life
- never regret decisions in your life, for at that moment in time, they were exactly what you wanted
- find adventures big or small everyday