The magic of this 30 something life
"Wild hearts can not be tamed, controlled, or ever really be broken. Wild hearts can only be made stronger, love harder and gain the confidence it needs to be free."
A few years ago if you were to ask where I thought I would be in my thirties, I would have never have thought It would be where I am today. When I was younger I always saw myself in two situations; I was either married or living an extremely extravagant single life. It really depended on the mood I was in when asked. I was also a wild hearted person, from a very young age I knew I was different. Never sticking to the norm or societies expectations. Not saying that it didn't give me grief for not fitting in, but it did give me strength in many more ways than one would think. So sitting here, almost 2weeks till I turn 33 and remebering one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies, "wild hearts can't be broken."
The meaning behind the quote is one of deep and powerful comitment of loving one's se;f. Being wild hearted is a long road of obstacles, heart break, success and great determination. Not saying that those who don't have wild hearts are weak, not at all. Wild hearts come in many shapes and sizes. Some join the circus while others travel the world tasting coffee. Having a wild heart is something that is completely unique to the individual. But more on that in a bit.
If you have been following my story the past year you noticed, just like many others, 2016 was a year of great loss and transformation for me. in the next couple of weeks I will be turning 33 and I am looking at it with great possibility. The begining of my thirties I almost always felt as if I were climbing up hill. I was always in some sort of struggle, either with my career, purpose, love life or just plain loving myself. The past few years I have dealt with a great deal of baggage, past issues and growth. All things that I can look back and now I finally see the benefit in going through all of these things. While 2016 felt as if it was just a basket of shit being carried around, dropping on us from above. With this new year we have to look back and see the positive outcomes that helped us push forward.
When looking back the first thing you must always remember, look at your past with kind and compassionate eyes. I myself have laid awake at 3am thinking of my past mistakes. Trust me it still happens. I mean who really cares about being what you did when you were 18. Does it really matter that you messed up? No. The only thing that matters is that you look at the situation, see the parts where you were at fault, and begin to forgive yourself. I have been selfish, spoiled, greedy and did some pretty unsavory things in my youth. But dwelling over our wrong doings will never get us anywhere. Instead we must look back and see what changes these actions caused. Look back be accountable and then forgive yourself as well as others.
The magic of being in your thirties is that you are able to move forward much faster. You start to realize that your life is your own. The views, opinions and judgement of others hurts less and heals fast. You are able to take solace in the lessons that are brought to you. One of the best things about learning from your mistakes is the fact that you can finally start to look back and see how far you have come. This finally leads me to being wild at heart and being comfortable in the life that I have.
As I said earlier, I have always had a wild heart. I was never really good at being told what to do, being controlled or someone trying to tame me. No matter how hard I tried, I never really fit in with any groups. And as much as I hate to admit it used to drive me crazy. I always wanted to try new things, be the first to impulsively jump, or yearning for the next adventure. Challenges never scared me, even if I cried I still will stand my ground. Wild hearts learn to love themselves through hardships and determination. But keep in mind that being a wild heart can also have it's set of self destructive side effects.
Sometimes wild hearts learn to buid walls, battle with ocd and can be controlling in nature. We often grow up very independent which can lead to wanting things to go our way. We must all learn to accept both our light and our dark sides. The good and bad qualities we have. That is just part of growing as a person. That is one of the best things about entering your thirties, you start to understand the purpose of your life. And always remember that a purpose, no matter how big our small, is still a purpose. So never let anyone make you feel less for your dreams. You have every right to be where you are, in what ever stage of life, and have your reasons why.
Things I love about my thirties:
<3 Being single
<3 Creating my personal space
<3 Gaining confidence I never knew I had
<3 Growing from lessons and mistakes
<3 Doing what I want, when I want, without the guilt
<3 Letting go of that which does not work for me
<3 Pushing through obstacles and staying positive after the outcome
<3 Seeing opportunities and grabbing them
<3 Knowing exactly what I want and making plans to achieve it
<3 Spending time with those that truly care for my wellbeing and progress
<3 Telling my loved ones how I feel
<3 Having lazy Sundays and sleep in Saturdays
<3 Being as lazy or productive as I want
<3 Creating a timeline that works for myself
<3 Living my life for myself
<3 Learning to love myself unconditionally
"Magic only comes to those who believe in it."
Hi, I'm Bex!
Loves Hot Pink
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